hollow_spider @hollow_spider

Well, the answer to that question is not very simple. You see, one day, the chicken came home from a harsh day at the office. And, when she got home, rather than feeling the loving touch of her husband Rooster, she instead found him clucking and plucking with another chick. Naturally, she was enraged at the sight of her husband, the man she vowed to spend the rest of her days with, pounding and tenderizing another chick’s chicken breasts. To make matters worse, she recently found out that she was to be laid off since she was an older hen and therefore less efficient at producing eggs. As expected, she was in a fowl (as in chicken) mood and the current situation only made matters worse. But, being the reasonable hen that she was, she calmed herself down and asked her husband why he was pecking another chick’s beak. What made that chick better than her, anyways? Just because she had beautiful, blonde feathers didn’t mean she knew how to work with a cock. Rooster responded by saying that she wasn’t giving him enough attention and was forced to flap his chicken meat to videos online. It was at that moment that she realized her marriage was a mistake. She called him out, saying that he was too chicken to make any kind of commitment to which he responded to get the flock out of his chicken coop. His coop? HIS CHICKEN COOP?! Who was the one paying for the chicken coop’s rent, losing her precious eggs every single day?! Who was the one that sacrificed so much of her life for the two of them?! This was her damn coop and she was going to stand her ground! Except... except she took things too far. By the time she realized it, it had already been too late. His blood was everywhere and so was that blonde chick’s. Horrified at the sight of their blood staining her own feathers, she rushed outside. The world around her began to blur; Her head began spinning. She began to wander around; Her once snow white feathers now drenched in a crimson red. That’s when she found it. That’s when she found her solution: the road. The cars rushed past her, and, as terrifying as it was, she took her first step onto the road. As she took her first step, her eyes flashed before her eyes. In an instant, she realized just how fast time flies. One moment, she’s graduating with egg-cellent grades and the next, she finds herself in the blood of her husband and his lover. But at the same time, it was at this moment that she realized that she was finally free, free from the birdcage that kept her cooped up in her small bubble in the corner of the universe. It was now that she had escaped that captivity, escaped her responsibilities, her vows, and soon, her life entirely. It was refreshing. It was liberating. It was egg-xilirating. And it was over in an instant. So, why did the chicken cross the road? Was it the news that she had been laid off? Was it finding her husband with another hen? Was it the grizzly murder of the love of her life by her own two claws? The truth is it was all of those things. It was a culmination of years of captivity, constant pressure, restrictions, and bursts of raw anger, sadness, and disappointment that led to her ending things too early. So the next time you hear someone ask you why the chicken crossed the road, you remember what I told you today. People make jokes about the chicken crossing the road. But the truth is that story is no laughing matter. Rather, it is an important lesson. One that must be reflected upon. And maybe instead of laughing at a joke like this, we’ll be able to evolve, hatch into new people. Better people. Chicken.