onjot @mirzan_onjot

Time pass by, laziness got me.

Whether it's an identity, or just too tired to do anything at all.

And so, skills slipped out of my fingers, i lost the thing that made my existence matter.

Shitty and cryptic, useless.

Basically, i can't draw anymore.

I can't, to say that it's a artblock, it's been too long, i even got to learn basics of math, that i was supposed to learn from the start of middle school.

And in free time, i'd waste time scrolling, frying my brain.

So, my hobby isn't making art now.

It's throwing my life away into trashcan.

And unable to decide where to put effort in.

Indecisive.

School, back home, see disappointments under parents lively facade.. It's tiring.. Time and time, repeatedly, i don't think i want to see people anymore, socialize.

When even people's gaze feels heavy, i feel like a fool, a fool who had no reason to do anything.

There are also few things.. That i don't want to accept within myself, and mostly it's sensitive.

First, religion.

I don't want to explain it.. As i couldn't find my purpose.

.. What's the point of all this.

Im typing it here, where nobody read it, nobody will know me here.

Weird.

Im weird.