Venting in Fire's hangout spot

Ok. How can I draw a human on a piece of paper, yet not on my tablet. what the hell.

Why do art courses have to be so fucking expensive.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm9g_nftWhU

I'm calling it a night.

I relate to 1 2 4 6 8 and 10.

Ha... I have gotten worse...

Left side new drawing

Right side old drawing

What's the point anymore.

It's demotivating, and discouraging seeing how I've gotten worse.

I'm not quiting drawing, though I have so many words I wanna say.

FUCKING. FINALLY. I ATLEAST finished a sketch. anyway yeah, Fire's in Corrupted Underground, though he doesn't appear unless he's just bored.

Also, yes I'm god awful at drawing hands, or different crap.

Wonderful. Just wonderful. SO MANY IDEAS, YET CAN'T DRAW THEM. I hate myself so much.

So many ideas... God awful skills...

Wouldn't you agree?

This was fucking cringe, don't look.

Y'know, before the whole Corrupted Underground lore doc, it was originally going to be a comic, but I can't draw anything besides a fucking idle or change perspective. So, yeah, that's what was planned, even a fan-game, but I ALSO can't code worth a damn.

Is it just me, or can I not draw from reference, so I don't use them?

There was one way I got started drawing, but I'm not trying that method again. It's frowned upon artists.

This is as far as I'm getting with a pose like this.

AND THIS AIN'T EVEN THE LEGS AND SHIT.
For context, I was drawing Xanthus, from "Yellow Eyed Freak" and him being on his knee in the thumbnail is what I WAS trying to draw.