Beyoncé Backflips

beyoncé backflips is quite possibly the greatest achievement in gaming. the game features amazing yet minimal graphics, rich details and characters that you'll fall in love with. in this game, players assume the role of a clown. this clown has a lover and you both have two beautiful children: kanye west and joanna newsom, both of which are now pitchfork darlings and whatever they put out gets best new music nowadays. however, when you are going to see the kids for the first time, zombies invade the hostpital, and you must blast them off the spectrum of the crust of the earth. the kids and your lover will not be affected because I was too bored to add rigidbodies to the characters and I decided to keep things the way they are. also the bullets, that are actually big balls, do not get destroyed.
afterwards, donald trump kidnaps your children and your lover, and now is the time to GET THE FAT ORANGE MAN!! you must blast his gargantuan and grotesque head into the murky depths of space. yes, you must! if things work well, you might be reunited with your family, and you will probably see beyoncé in the game as well. probably. you can also think that the clown is jay z and that your lover is beyoncé. it's plausible. no wonder why many say that jay z birthed kanye west. now seriously, beyoncé does actually appear towards the end.
the game is a masterful experience in medium and in social commentary. featuring riveting storytelling, amazing writing and inventive graphics, beyoncé backflips is a marathon of joy, and a masterful collection of grasping moments that will probably inspire you. the game features a sample-based soundtrack that has samples that range from justin timberlake to the power rangers theme, and from grimes (art angels hurts my ears. if you are wondering why, let me tell you, and allow me to go for a bit of a rant here. grimes has a relatively irritating voice that gets on my nerves. I mean, CAAAAAAAALIFORNIAAAAA is a bit of a burden to my ears, that are comforted easily by the likes of good quality music. one day, grimes will create an album with liturgy. mark my words) to r. kelly (he pisses me off. NOW THAT JOKE WAS VERY EDGY. MADE ME LAUGH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAHHA YOU ARE SO CLEVER), there is just a lot of variation here.

director's commentary

basically this is yet another creation of mine. it is just like a terribly fast world (which I liked at first, but now, it is just a journey through the plunging depths of cringe that makes me feel so embarassed. it really does make me cringe these days), but slightly less cringeworthy. there still is a plethora of dumb references to music, television and other things here, so, if you want to cringe slightly, you will love this game.
however, you will not fully cringe because this game is a step forward from atfw. there are maps that you can see from a top down perspective (very technological, I know), more detail to the worlds and slightly better graphics. you will be surprised to see this level of modernism in the game.
the game also features these really dumb sample based tracks. the results will make you vomit because of how bad they are, and you will probably consume your own poop.

a bad musician once said, "if youre reading this, its too late". we can all fully agree with this bad musician's quote, because... it's true! if you happen to be reading this, it is indeed, too late. you haven't downloaded the game, you fool! download it, dammit! you are not a true gamer, you little version of the breed bettween grimes and kanye west!! hahahahaaha!! laughter ensues as the big lebowski attacks the warner brothers hahahahahahahaha lmao what is wrong with me... huh... you know... life is something.
#adventure