2025 was a year for sure. And to be honest, it was not really a good one. I'm unsure if most of you remember my 2024 overview, but in that overview, I went over what I wanted to do for 2025 and what I loved that year, such as friends and family. Most of those things I didn't achieve, most of those things I've lost.

2025 was miserable. I lost too many friends to count, I had to deal with another passing of a family member, my mental health was going down hill, I got into a break up in the middle of the year and I'm still trying to process it. So many things happened in one year, and yet.. it doesn't feel like a year, it feels like a few months. To me, it's absolutely horrifying.

I'm still young, and in the next few years, I'll finally be considered a legal adult, I'm going to have to start taking responsibilities of many things beyond the basics. I wasn't really taught many good responsibilities, my parents never really taught me all that much throughout my life, and most that they've already taught me, I some times forget, and that's a concerning sign to me and everyone around me.

I finally moved out from the south and moved up north, now I finally get to see some snow. It's fun, I guess. It's very comforting to see it after all this time. When I first moved up north, I didn't know how to feel. All those friends I've met, my partner at the time, everything, it felt like I was leaving it all behind, and I didn't want to leave it all behind, I still wanted to stay down south. No matter what I felt, I had to move up north with my family. After all, they said it'd be for the best and it'd be a new start for all of us, maybe even a better start. But to me though, it doesn't feel like a better start. When I first moved in, my mental health went down hill. I started reminiscing of the past every day, I wanted to go over to my partner's place and spend time with him yet I kept getting hit with the fact that I was almost 1000+ miles away from him. I kept thinking of my friends, I kept thinking of everything. I had many, many mixed feelings.

Shortly after I moved up here, about two weeks later, my father unfortunately passed away. Everyone in my family was devastated. It all hit us like a brick. It happened completely out of the blue, and what made it worse was that in that morning, he was completely fine, nothing seemed to be wrong with him, and yet at the blink of an eye like that, he was gone. I'd rather not go too into detail, as this is very personal to me, but ever since this, I haven't felt the same, I haven't been the same. Everything feels different now, and I still can't process the fact that he's gone forever now.

I lost a lot of friends, many friend groups I've practically be exiled from. Many friends that I used to talk to all the time, I barely talk to now. Many friends that I used to trust, I can't even trust anymore. My relationship of almost two years eventually crumbled into the ground, and now I'm left trying to process it and get over it. It's not an easy task whatsoever. I still feel very regretful about everything and wish I could've done better. Sometimes I can't tell if it's all my fault or if there's someone to blame. Maybe that says more about me if I'm looking for someone to blame, doesn't it? I don't think finding someone to blame is the right way to put it though, but I feel like some may get the point.

I now live with my sister, I have new friends, both online and ones I met in the new school I go to, I'm a bit happier with the projects I've been creating instead of forcing myself to do something I don't want to do. I'm supposed to be getting therapy soon sometime this upcoming January, which is kind of exciting. This year stunk like a skunk, but I hope this upcoming 2026 will be much better than the previous years.

Although the bad sticks out like a sore thumb, there was definitely some good within this year, and that's what I wanna go on about in this post. I would also like to talk about what I'd want to do for the future, but we're in the present. So let's talk about the present (or.. the past) now, and the future later.

1 - The Present

Slumprock

Slumprock was the one and only "big" project I really released this year, and one that I'm still very proud of, even if I know I can do much better. It was a way for me to process emotions I've experienced this year and last year. Process emotions on my relationships. Process emotions on my body. Process emotions on my mental health. I wrote and recorded the songs all in one night, but produced the instrumentals throughout July to September. I was very afraid that the songs would come out as bad to many people. I was afraid the last song in the album would be too much for some people to handle as it goes through some considerably dark themes, but a lot of people seemed to enjoy the album. Many said they loved the first three tracks, many said they loved the album in general. Hell, many said they're proud of me for releasing such an album, and to me? I'm happy. I'm satisfied with the results of Slumprock.

All the songs mean a lot to me, but my favorite out of the whole bunch has to be Violent Love.

Violent Love was the first song where the instrumental was fully finished and produced, but it was the last song to be completely finalized with it's mixing and mastering and added vocals. It was the centerfold for the album. I made the song as a way to attempt to get over my recent breakup, a way to remind me of all the bad that happened during the relationship, a constant reminder that "hey, you should be better off not being in such a relationship" kind of thing for me. It goes into how I felt of the relationship and the breakup at that time, and I still feel it till this moment. The guitar sample, the somewhat dark lyrics, the beat drop, I knew this song would be a bit of a standout in the album, at least in my eyes. It fit perfectly as a way to end the album, and eventually loop back to the intro song. A constant loop of emotions I process, nonstop, over and over again. And it's the same ones I talk about in the album.

Second favorite is Repeat, least favorite is Sunshine. I wanted Repeat to be a fun quick instrumental track where I just shut up and can move my body to, and to prove the message in the intro of the song. Sunshine is about my mental health where I'm being completely honest with myself and the listener, but I know even now I could've done much better with the lyrics and the singing. One honorable mention of a song is Bleed. I loved the ambient atmosphere I gave to the instrumental, and the somewhat dark yet comforting lyrics about self-harming and the after-care and comfort of it.

Overall, I am happy with Slumprock, this album has given me and opened more opportunities for me and my future, and I'm happy you people enjoyed it. I'd love to do something for it's one year anniversary, whenever that may arrive. Maybe a tour? Maybe a instrumentals release? Who knows. But either way, thank you.

(ps: please buy my cds okay thank you)

Possum (EP)

Possum consisted of instrumental songs I made throughout this year, around March to some time around May, I believe. To those who don't know, when I started to pursue with my music career, I wanted to do hip-hop and rap. I recently realized that I'm not the best at rap. My flow is awful, my rhyming is shit, I'm just not built for it. And that's alright! But during this time, rap was the main genre I consistently listened to.

Shortly after my father passed away, I wanted to make an introspective rap album into my emotions, how I felt after his passing. Safe to say, this album was soon scrapped, and eventually, in a way, reshaped itself into Slumprock, since Slumprock is overall the same idea. But I produced so many instrumentals for the album, one of them being created at least a day after my father passed away, and I still liked most of the tracks I created for it.

It felt wrong for me to keep them only to myself for no one to see. The way I see it, if these songs I created helped me, then maybe it may help someone who'll listen to it who may be going through a similar experience as me. So, I eventually decided to release the instrumental tracks, and compile them into an EP, and that EP being Possum.

I called it Possum because of the term "Playing Possum", which means to "play dead". Since I created these songs at such a low point in my life so far where I wanted to basically end my life, I thought it'd be some what fitting, as fucked up as it is to say that.

I don't have much else to say about Possum, but I hope these songs help someone out there who's going through something similar. My heart goes out to you.

...

And those are all the big projects I've released this year. There weren't many projects I particularly helped with a whole lot during this year compared to my previous years, but there are some projects that I have a bit of an association with and helping hand with that I think you all should check out.

• L8R, ELEV8R by DAMNDAN1EL

• Devil's Dawn

• Ultimate Buddies Night by @SplatoonJosh , which just released a few days ago, PLEASE play it! I'm a character in this game!

• Fred & Pals by @RobinTharsGames

Please follow the people who develop these projects, I'm really glad I get to help out with these projects!

2 - The Future

I have quite a bit of plans for the future, both for my music career, and the game I've been meaning to release for some time now. I remember mentioning a big fangame project on my 2024 overview. I'm unsure if I mentioned that it'll be my last fangame project for awhile, or if it would've released in 2025, but I think that was the only time I really mentioned the project like that. Either way, I'd like to give some new details on the project, and also my other ones too.

Fangame Project / Peephole / Untitled Fangame

I think the public placeholder title I gave it around 2024 was something like "EXACTLY WHAT U CAME 4"? Something like that, right? Well either way, that title doesn't fit anymore, and I'm unsure if there's any other title that would fit better..

For now, let's just call this project.. "Peephole".. or.. "Untitled Fangame", whatever rolls off the tongue more.

Last time I gave an update on this project, there were only a few character renders finished, I used to have a whole development team behind the project, I was getting a bunch of voice actors, barely any gameplay was ready because the game was in it's concept phase. I'm now grateful to update you all that it is no longer stuck in that concept phase, it's now in it's full production phase!

The game is now a full on solo project, there's no development team behind it. All the characters with their personalities and their designs have been finalized and finished. I got all the voice actors needed for the project and assigned them their roles. I got beta testers on to test the game and the builds I will release to them, and best of yet, the main gameplay is almost finished being coded as we speak! After that's done, it's just finalized art and animation assets, sound design, and voice acting for the main gameplay! Even after that's done, there is still so much more to be worked on.

This project is big, but not too big to the point that it's overflown with stuff that'd be considered unnecessary. I think there's enough content in it for people to play through from front to back, and enough content for people to go back to it whenever they want to. I want this project to be the absolute best it can ever be, better than the previous projects I've attempted to put out in the past. This project is all I've ever wanted in a fangame, and all I've ever wanted for a fangame I've been wanting to create ever since I played the first FNaF game back in 2014.

I'm putting my all into this, and I hope whenever this gets revealed, and whenever it gets officially released, I can finally rest and say that I did a good job, say that I finally made a good game.

I can't give too much information on this project, and I'd love to talk about it more, but it's still in the wraps and under development. But just know, what we're making is gonna be good. I promise.. I hope.

Second studio album

I've been trying to work on a second album ever since I released Slumprock. I have so many ideas for a second album, so many styles I wanna do for it, the concepts I have in mind. It's just the struggle of trying to perfect the songwriting and the lyrics and the timing of it that is an issue for it.

I want each of my releases to be different from each other, each of them having a new sound, a new theme, each of them have a new atmosphere and vibe. I don't want one to be a repeat from the previous release, I don't want my catalog to read out the same for like four projects straight, y'know what I mean? I want everything to stand out in their own ways.

I have a lot of songs in the vault, whether they'd be for cancelled projects, future projects, current projects or for other people's projects. Some of the albums I have planned are already finished when it comes to the instrumentals, but it's just the song-writing. None of the songs have any proper vocals and singing in them. I'd love to release these songs, but I'm in the struggle of brainstorming lyrics and finding out what I could do with these songs I'm left with.

Either way, this isn't me saying a second album is never going to happen, because of course it is! I love making music, it's what I want to pursue in as a career for most of my life. It's just that I'm in the middle of the brainstorming and production process of it all. It'll definitely take awhile for me to give any proper news on an upcoming album.

Just listen to Slumprock and the other unrelated singles I've put out for now to hold yourselves back.

Or.. listen to this instead, I guess.

3 - Thank You / Closing Thoughts

Even though 2025 has been a dogshit year for me and many people, there were still some good moments and memories made along the way. I finally released my first album, I finally got significant progress on my fangame, I made new friends and I get to see snow for the first time in years, I guess. As I grow up, I lose some friends and I gain some more, and yet there are still some who've been with me as I grow up till this very day, and those are the ones I want to thank, alongside the new ones of course.

@ChronicAlcoholic - You've been my friend for years, ever since the third ever version of "Jovo's" was being created, and even after the bullshit we've both been through, we're still in contact. I cannot thank you enough man, you're the best.

@FunDun & @Aurdey - I know we didn't talk as much this year, but you two are still the funniest people I know, and the both of you helped me during a bit of a dark time during this year. You both mean a lot to me, I hope next year will be a better year for all of us!

@jnity - If it weren't for you, the music you've created, and the music you listen to, I don't think I would've made something like Slumprock. Also HOMESICKNESS was awesome as hell, you should be proud of it no matter what anyone tells you. Keep doing what you're doing, bro.

@Cryxton - Again, I know we don't talk as much compared to before, but the fact we still keep in contact after years and years is still nuts to me, and I hope we still stay in contact for years to come. I hope whatever's been going on has been going well, man!

@jayfolder - Each moment we had together made my darkest days feel at least a little bit bright, you're amazing and an absolute joy to be around, please keep being the person you're being. Also please stop telling me that I have "easy access" It makes me sad and upset that you make fun of me and my beautiful fictional girlfriend okay thank you heart emoji.

@purixi - I'm glad we got back in contact this year (or was it last year? can't remember), you're an amazing friend and have been an amazing friend. I really hope 2026 will be a better year for you and many others as well! Love you, sis!

celesware - oh shes not here :( WELL EITHER WAY I'll write one just in case she can read this. You've helped me some of my darkest times this year, each moment with you and the friend group has been a complete blast and I'm very glad to be back in the loop with you guys after all that has happened to me this year. I know things haven't been the best for you this year to say the least, but I really hope this upcoming year will be much better for you and the others. You mean a lot to me, and I hope we can continue being friends. Thank you!

@kiroloser - You're a great friend, and a great person, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I know we haven't talked all that much this year, but no matter how distant we've been, I still consider you as a great friend. Happy new years, dawg.

@Jwl412Gamer - You're a chill dude to be around, every call we have is just nice and simple to be in. You also got me around in your friend circle when I wasn't feeling to great about myself, and to be honest? I'm glad I'm in the friend circle. You and everyone else are an absolute blast to be around, and I hope this upcoming year we can have some more great moments. Cheers to you, mate!

And most importantly, the people in my family. I know they don't have a GameJolt or whatever, but if they could read this, I want them to know that they mean the whole world to me, and gave me the best advice when it came to my darkest times. I love spending time with them, even if sometimes they're kind of short. Love 'em all to death!

I know this year hasn't been the greatest for everyone, especially me, but let's just hope for a better 2026. I hope you had a merry Christmas, and I hope we all have a beautiful happy new years!

Listen to this song for me, it's really good. Okay, thank you. Good night.