One thing I've noticed throughout my years as being a developer, especially as of recent times. I realize I always just constantly keep double downing myself and keep pushing the projects further back trying harder and harder to push something good which it seems in the light of things pushes the fun of them. I've been told by my friend @GhostGamesX and @jnity all the time amazing advice and I listen but sometimes I tend to forget that and still proceed to do the same exact shit. I always see my previous stuff as mid or shit so I always step up and redo shit which causes a problem and adds more and more time to the game which is also a problem for games that have series and it builds up time every single time.

I've got model talent, I can do lighting, I can draw, but I never use that and always just see it as not good enough and wind up just breaking it down to go forward to have others do shit for me, and it's a constant cycle I can't seem to break from. I should just do the games the best I can do and have the sequels just be the better versions instead of spending years on one project each. I should also just use what I am good at, I always struggle with motivational problems because of how much comms I gotta handle so I usually just have help but then I realize how expensive it is and makes it not worth it. All of this is on me 100%, never will I pin the blame on anyone else, I've put myself into these positions that make me do awkward decisions, or sometimes good/bad ones.

I would absolutely do breaks, but anytime I do it just stacks comms more and I can't take a real break from anything, as for games yeah I can leave them, but then I just lose how I feel about them over time or instead I do think on them and change them up more due to me improving over time. There's way too much stuff I regret with my decisions, but I'm honestly not even sure what to do with them anymore.

For anyone who wants to be a future dev, don't do what I do, don't try to push for originality or try to squeeze into the standards this community has put, just have fun and do what you are able to do, good or bad, it's all for fun at the end of the day. It's okay to have people help, teams are a good thing, but don't have that swarm you thinking you can do anything and push yourself to always do better when you can just flow and improve per entry. It's all fangames, not worth pushing that far over to be the next hit game.

I'm in a million thoughts right now, so gonna just take some time to sit down, think about some things, and lock in from there. I really just need to stop adding more, it's common sense, but unfortunately I'm not exactly a genius, I've got my own personal problems mentally that I can't always make the right decision which affects me on every level. I just need to break away from trying to impress others and just make games how I feel is good, nothing technical, nothing over the line, just fun, and if it's too simple, I can improve for later entries instead of constantly changing the one same fucking game everytime.

There's gonna be a lot of changes to come eventually and if it's slightly negative it's fine, cuz at the end of the day I'd rather not break myself over a fangame series and would just rather go at a pace I enjoy and not try to hit standards. These projects should've never had this happen to them over my poor decisions and me just not accepting how they were, AGP reboot could've came out last year if it wasn't for the fact I changed so much and I am now getting hit with the realism of "holy shit, what am I doing anymore?" and I need the time to sit down and think about these and rely on what I am good at and what I know and not break myself over this shit.

I regret the switchup from AGP, I just got stressed from how much things were changing and how much was left for it, so I'ma take the time to discuss with people to cut stuff and make the games easier to do and I'll do them that way. I wanna have 2026 be the year period, whether it's mid or not, I want to start consistently releasing projects for the fun of it instead of trying to hit the big leagues anymore.

I thank those who read this far, questions will be answered.