honestly. i know, might sound crazy but i wish i was born a girl. crazy i know. but like. i’m stuck with a dick, i’m (slightly) overweight, i’ve really been wondering ‘dude, why do i have this’ even before i realized who i was, and like… it just feels weird to.. exist? if you know what i mean by that. cause i wasn’t born right, i guess… another problem is that i think i’m hypersexual and that makes me hate myself so. woohoo… i hate who i was and i hate who i am and i wish this shit didn’t need to go through like all this and that but oh well. addy going back to her depression phase, how surprising…

oh yeah my doctor said to not gain a single pound. dude wtf do you mean I HAVE TO EAT. I’M GOING TO GAIN WEIGHT. I DON’T HAVE A PERSONAL GYM THE BEST I *could DO IS WALK A MILE 5 DAYS A WEEK! and then my parents wanting me to get therapy even though i’m pretty sure they defeat the purpose of a therapist when (i think) they ask me what i talked about… what’s the point of a therapist then

i’m sure i’ve brought these topics up on and on and on again but they just plague my mind and it fucking sucks. no i don’t want to kill myself. no the beat ain’t dropping. i just wish it was different.