3 years ago

Baldi's basics: the book

By @AsexualDoge and @Mr_noreason


Mr. no reason: [i went to some school and i have no idea what a school is]

baldi: hi welcome to my schoolhouse

[markiplier gets teleported as well]

markiplier: bro where the fuck am i

mr. no reason: idk

markiplier: who are you

mr. no reason: good question idk on who i am

markiplier: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ok

mr. no reason: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... all right

markiplier: wait... i have a question

mr. no reason: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

markiplier: did you throw shit at your teacher with someone in kindergarten

mr. no reason: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah? i don't remember it all the time

markiplier: DUMBASS?

mr. no reason: ...what?

markiplier: that used to be your nickname

mr. no reason: anyways theres a teacher here

markiplier: oh

mr. no reason: ...my nickname?

markiplier: yeah

mr. no reason: ...let's just ask the teacher on where the hell we are

Markiplier: ok

Baldi: your in my schoolhouse!

Baldi: you gotta learn some math!

mr. no reason: your house as a school?

Baldi: basically yeah

mr. no reason: what the fuck

mr. no reason: so math?

Baldi: yeah

mr. no reason: i have a picture of you and is this what you look like?

image.png

Baldi: thats my brother dumbfuck

mr. no reason: where is he now

Baldi: trapped in a dungeon in the school- i mean at home

mr. no reason: okay

Markiplier: bro wtf

Baldi: anyway...

Baldi: go into the classroom and lets learn some math!

mr. no reason: okay baldick [we go to a classroom]

Baldi: Now it's time for everybody's favorite subject: Math! Answer the three questions correctly, and you might get something special! Just type the correct answer into the empty box! Press the enter key on your keyboard when you think you have the right answer! Problem one.

Baldi: 8 - 9 = ?

markiplier: bro idk this shit

mr. no reason: -1?

Baldi: Good one!

Baldi: Problem two

Baldi: 7 + 5 = ?

mr. no reason: 12?

Baldi: you got it!

Baldi: Problem three

Baldi: 5 x 8 = ?

mr. no reason: 40.

Baldi: You did great! Come here and get your prize. A shiny quarter! Just click on it with the left mouse button to pick it up! Then, when you find something you could use it on, right click the object with the quarter selected! That's how you use items, you know?

markiplier: woah free cash

mr. no reason: that is best

mr. no reason: NOW WHERE THE FUCK IS ANOTHER MATH THING IS?!

Baldi: In the next classroom!

Mr. no reason: lets go mark.

markiplier: ok

[we go to another classroom]

Baldi: Problem one

Baldi: 6 + 2 = ?

markiplier: 8

Baldi: Good one!

baldi: 7 - 9 = ?

mr. no reason: 0.

Baldi: ...

Baldi: *glitch*

mr. no reason: yeah thats right

markiplier: bro wtf happened to baldick

mr. no reason: idk i guess i got it wrong

markiplier: he mad af

mr. no reason; 3rd question pls

(the pad thing: erwhwguojikwrj,tgdhfj,gy,trikbuhjgnfz t984w7693402673 + 9805347iu4yehtkl*^&%amp;*(%#% = ?)

mr. no reason: oh i know! [draws a big fat penis with the two hairy balls into the pad]

markiplier; hahahaha

(pad: X)

markiplier: HOW WAS THAT WRONg

.......................................................................

[they hear a ruler]

Mr. no reason: pads like dicks, right?

markiplier: idk

................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

markiplier: wtf is that noise

mr. no reason: a ruler?...............................

markiplier: .,.....................

markiplier: are we gonna get spanked

.............

mr. no reason: i think so.....................

markiplier: ...........................shit

markiplier: we gotta run

mr. no reason: run

markiplier: run

[we run]

*principle appears*

principle: no running in the halls

mr. no reason: FUCK U

mr. no reason: NO ONE CARES

principle: ANd no SWEaRING IN thE HALLS

Mr. no reason: WE CAN RUN IS HALLS

mr. no reason: NO

principle: *GRABS THEM*

mr. no reason: SHUT THE FUCK UP

mr. no reason: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTYFE90HIONKLEMRFJINUOVJNWJF

markiplier: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

principle: 50 seconds

mr. no reason: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH........................

principle: detention for you

principle: when will you learn...

mr. no reason: i don't know how to learn

principle: ...

principle: whatever *leaves and locks them in there*

markiplier: BRO

........................................................................................

mr. no reason: what

markiplier: hE LOCKED US IN HERE- wait

mr no reason: WELL FUCK

markiplier: i think i have something

mr. no reason: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?

markiplier: A KEY!

mr. no reason: a tiny key!!11!!11

markiplier: imma unlock it

[mark unlocked the door]

markiplier: i got it

mr. no reason: [shits pants]

markiplier: wtf did you just shit yourself

mr. no reason: dont worry about it

mr. no reason: i walk in it and i love it

markiplier: ok\

markiplier: it smells like fucking raspberries

mr. no reason: lets just go

mr. no reason: and they ALWAYS smell like raspberries

mr. no reason: but lets go

markiplier: ok

[we go somewhere]

[we go into a classroom]

markiplier: a notebook

mr. no reason: a notebook

mr. no reason: now slove it dipshit

markiplier: ok

mr. no reason: i'll keep watch for ruler man

markiplier: *answers question like a dumbfuck*

..............................................................................................................................................................................

markiplier: i got the 3rd question wrong fuck

mr. no reason: your smart

markiplier: thanks

mr. no reason: now LETS FUCKING FIND ANOTHER NOTEBOOK EFIJOGWRTIOPPEIFWJOIHVNO

OKAY

*they hear more ruler*

mr. no reason: ..............................

mr. no reason: [checks hallway]

..............................

mr. no reason: mark..............

mr. no reason: its baldick

markiplier: huh... oh shit

mr. no reason: lets keep going

markiplier: ok..........

Playtime: I WANNA PLAY WITH SOMEONE

...........................................................

mr. no reason: mark go play with her

markiplier: no i dont wanna

markiplier: idk how to jump roep

mr. no reason: well jump rope like a dumbfuck, i'll find two notebooks. [i go find two notebooks]

Playtime: OOPS you MEssed up

Platime: LETS tRy AgAin FROM tHE top

PLAYTIME: READY GOkrftgrd

mr. no reason: i found one notebook

mr. no reason: now time to find the other for mark

markiplier: okay ill go find it *goes into a classroom and finds notebook*

[a voice said ITS SWEEPING TIME]

markiplier: the fuck was that

mr. no reason: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... i think its sans

markiplier: understandablew

the voice: GOTTA SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP

markiplier: wtf does it mean sweep sweep sweep

mr. no reason: uh yeah WAIT WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BROOM?

[the broom hits us and takes us somewhere]

markiplier: a

mr. no reason: a

chapter 2 coming



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