7 months ago

BTW Nima has a full name

"Nima Peony"

And it turns out there's more meaning behind it than I thought.


An Anima is the feminine aspect of a man. Without the first letter, it becomes a real name which means "Little bow/archer", "Sun" and "Blessing"Nima is all of those things.

A bow often symbolises precision and potential energy. It suggests aiming for authenticity, and channeling my potential. Nima was quite literally who I was trying to become for a long time, because they are more carefree and (normally) less angry.

"Nima" also means "sun". The name "Vas Poenitentiae" means "Vessel of repentance" in Latin, and Vas was always portrayed as a being shrouded in darkness, especially with the fact that they are a human/demon hybrid. The sun symbolises not just warmth and life, but also light. Becoming Nima was finally escaping a majority of my inner darkness, and also breathed new life into me.

"Nima" also means "blessing". Nima is a blessing to myself, essentially. As I have taken on this new persona without judging myself for it. I've taken this new moniker, essentially as a gift to myself.

Then, the last name "Peony". This is the name of a type of flower that represents honor and prosperity. Nima embodies renewal, and is a shift to self-acceptance, especially with "Vas Poenitentiae" being a name that meant "Vessel of Repentance".

So together, the name "Nima Peony" basically says everything about what Nima means to me. Nima Peony is the new me, who is trying harder to accept himself for who he is, trying to do better and be a better person. And ultimately, they are the embodiment of a brighter future for me.

For some people, they say they want Vas back. I've only realised why that upsets me a bit. I wasn't in the best place mentally back then. I'm still not in the best state as Nima. But this new persona is an attempt to change that. To fix myself. To be happier than before.

And it's worked, because the reason I choose to not be Vas anymore is because I'm just not the same person as I was when I went under that name.

So the next time you say you want Vas back...please consider all of this...what becoming Nima meant to me. Vas could come back sometimes, but it just wouldn't be the same, would it?

I've held on to Vas, converting him into an OC, since he still does mean something to me. And I choose to embrace all of myself. My past, present and future. Who I was, who I am now, and who I'm working hard to become.



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