11 months ago

Here’s the link to the first chapter of my story. Would love any feedback you have to help me improve) link and context will be below)


A few days ago I made a post saying I was working on an original story. I’m new to writing and decided maybe I’d post some of the first chapters to get feedback, which could help me with future chapters. Any feedback is appreciated, what I could do to improve the writing/dialouge, description, emotions, show don’t tell, maybe ideas on things to add or change or something, or just pointing out a typo. I left comments on so just comment your thoughts.

(Ps. If you have any questions let me know, this is more like a prologue/chapter 0, setting up some stuff that will come up later.)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/13AwvLJuimA1fReLiA9Dq17GN7tPtk2hsjrRi6ox6CR8/edit

Game Dev
IRL
DELTARUNE General
9


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