You may cry your eyes out when youre alone, you may not have anyone irl to spill your guts, but dont you see how serious this is?
I know people might not want to hear your pain, that theyll just annoy you, i know you may only be feeling anger and sadness, but trust my words, and take them serious, no kiddin. Life's way much more than you think, there isnt only the dark side of everything, youre just choosing the see the bad because its what seems to scream more for attention. Tell me something good that happened today with you. You cant say so? Thats the exact reason insta/twitter/youtube gets you addicted to it, because no one cares about the cars that crashed in terrible accidents, plane accidents are rare. Negativity brings anger and to them, it means money. But that asides, start focusing on the good things in life, even when it seems like there's none right now. Force yourself to be optimist, and when i say that, is to fight the urge to think negatively, not be 100% believing that everything is gonna go extremely well.
Meditate, find your worth, go give yourself some self-care and practice mindfulness.
No youre not anything those inner demons might scream to your ears, no matter how angrily its said, youre way much more than that because youve still didnt give up yet, did you?
The strongest of people are the ones that choose to live against all odds, and i respect these type of people. People like you, who keep going despite life bringing you down, and its difficult to even begin to explain the immeasurable love that people feel for you, because just to imagine your abscence would probably shatter so many people and it'd go to so may places.
What i mean is that even when you dont see it, you are loved, so, so so much that you cant even begin to imagine, some people just dont notice their love for others before they're gone, because i can tell you what hurts the most is to miss knowing that you had the opportunity to change, and its something that really haunts you like ghosts.
Its kinda dissapointing, but just like you dont have words to describe the hell you go through, im in loss of words too, to tell you how much i care about you, how much you really matter to everyone surrounding you, because if you think no one loves you,i do.
take care, with love - Luca
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