Bestie, I don't know how to tell you this, but it might come as a shock to you.

A massive shock in fact-

In fact, so much of a shock that you might have a heart attack and die right there on the spot.

Its so incredibly shocking that I'm afraid the shock of this revelation will be so profound it ruptures the earths core and turns the surface into a mass of lava bathing the surface in molten rock and torturous flames.

If that doesn't happen, as soon as the world leaders find out they will all opt that the shock has been too great for the world to continue, and all one by one will set off the nukes and destroy the world for good.

And when the aliens find out- OOOOOH BOY!

They will take to destroying the entire galaxy!!

So...

When I tell you this, friend-

You must promise me that it will die with you.

The future of reality is at stake.

You ready?

Ok.

Here it comes.

It was a joke.