It's just a burning memory...

13 days ago

`Transcript of audio recording dated 12/24/2003`
`Author: Presumably Mark Torfyannoy (better known by his pseudonym Mortimer Blake)`

`<start record>`

Tick tock. Tick tock. The ticking fills my head I'm lying on the bathroom floor there's not a soul around in the whole apartment except me and my cat

Tick tock. Tick tock. The sounds of the mechanism inside the clock fill my head bounce off the walls of my skull make my brain itch as if a primordial self is awakening The self that is afraid of repeating sounds.

Tick tock. Tick tock. There are mirrors in the same room with me. In general, there are many mirrors in my house. There is one in the bathroom, where I am lying now. There is one in the hallway, right outside my door to my room. And one in my room. All these mirrors have only one problem. I don't see myself in any of them. Just like in the mirrors on the street, in other houses, in countries. I don't see myself. What is on the other side of the mirror is not me. I don't see that my voice belongs to what is on the other side.

Tick tock. Tick tock. This is actually strange. How can you look in the mirror and think, "that's me"? That's not true. By definition, you can't be on the other side of the mirror. There's a reflection on the other side of the mirror. There's nothing on the other side of the mirror. The specialized glass doesn't hold any mysteries or secrets behind it. There's just emptiness. The same endless, terrible emptiness as in my mind when I'm lying on the floor of the bathtub to the sound of the clock.

Tick-tock. Tick-tock. In general, this is strange to think, because even if you were behind the mirror, it couldn't be you. After all, even all of its organs are upside down, they're wrong, they're different. The kind that they shouldn't be, the kind that people are not meant to be, they're not people, those who are there, on the other side of the specialized glass... And it seems that you, looking at them and realizing that they are you, cease to be human.

tick-tock

tick.

The clock has stopped. Yes, it has definitely stopped. It seems the batteries in it are dead. And there are no batteries at home. They are all gone. I need to go get batteries. I was just about to go get sugar. I am out of it too.