I have a weird feeling that i perfer being alone and or isolated irl

Theres this sense of being freely able to do my own thing and expressing myself without making anyone around me feel embarassed and or ashamed to be around me, not having to deal with consequences i would cause

And regarding a few people i personally know, most of the time i wish to have a bit of a more positive experience being around them (such as my older brother, and unfortunately my only one, i really hope he would stop constantly joking around me)

I never even bring up my internet persona irl, especially locally

This might have affected with how shy i get and trust issues

And yes, i get kinda sensitive at times .^.

There are times i dont even feel comfortable about being caught with my interests (like my younger sister noticing my sailor jupiter wallpaper and laughing out about the fact i have a girl as my wallpaper, aughuhuhhhhhh >~<), so i just stay silent

It might be a form of escapism, especially with how i associate with fictional characters (eg, makoto kino, kagamine len, etc), and stuff like having an ideal friend (eg, ribbon girl miku, the vibes she gives off makes me want to meet her)

Hoping this doesnt go bad in the future, i really am hoping ^^'