In case you couldn't tell this is a joke lol

VIDEO SCRIPT

		
			Hello everyone, welcome to my apology to everyone for what I have done, I know a lot of you guys are very angry about what I have done and that's why I feel the need to go over everything that I have done and apologize for what I have done. Now, bear in mind that most of these are just allegations, and not confirmed proof. However, I will still apologize, as an innocent man would do, because I feel truly sorry that I did this, even if it's not confirmed that I did it, and I will never confirm it. So, yeah, I'm just going to go over all of the evidence and just apologize and explain why I did it, every single point covered, and I just... Hope you guys can understand me... And can forgive me, for what I have, allegedly, done, not confirmed.
Okay... Lets... Let's do this... (sniff a little bit to seem like you’re sorry LOL)
I... I cooked her alive... And served her to her family... And I am so so sorry to her... I shouldn't have done that and the fact that I did is so massively wrong and fucked up... And I just... (Break into tears) Fuck... I'm so stupid... Allegedly... I just... I want to apologize to her family... For cooking her alive and serving her to them... I know they won't forgive me but I... I need to apologize and make them understand that… that I... I didn't mean it... I was just... allegedly bored... And... And its just... FUCK!!! WHY DID I DO THAT... (break into tears even harder so the audience sides with you!) I am... A Monster... Behind the... s-s... cooking... Oh my god... How... (Hyperventilate so you seem extremely innocent!!!!)
I... I hope... This video makes you understand my side of it and... I hope you can understand me... And forgive me...for everything I've done... I'll be taking a break from... the in... the kitchen... For a bit... To recompose myself... T-Thanks for everything chat... You really... Cool...