I've gotten better in the terms of coping with being a victim of sa by a family member. I have came out to my dad about it, he was the most understanding father i could ever wish for or ask for in life. he helped me understand to not let it define me as a person but know i've gone through it and its apart of me, having to say "yeah it happened, but it happened a long while ago. it makes me a person"
i told him art is the only thing that takes my mind off of this stuff. i told him im failing classes over this and he said "no no.. your not failing, your finding ways to distract yourself"
he doesnt seem to care much on my grades its my mom mainly.
i will be getting the full thing out to him later. i was told his face changed when i added on to "theres more but im to grossed to say it."
either trrw i will be having to ask to go to the "store" (aka just getting out of the house and driving, and telling him the rest of it)
today however i will be leaving the house for a day, will be going to my cousins for a bit and going to a base ball game that will lead till 3 am in the morning. atleast my cousin will be there.
I've gotten slightly better mentally, i had a huge crash out last night i never really cried as hard as i did in front of my dad over that, nor really never did cry hard over some thing in front of him
I personally will be not back till most likely next month, or when art fight rolls around. as much as i hate leaving friends on here i really would love to interact with them. but for right now im dealing with stuff thats heavy on my chest and its been weighing me down for years thats finally coming out, i most likely will not be doing art for a bit either way. it keeps me calm yes but i need to focus on how to fix that patch that has left me in shame and disgust for years, i cant "forget" it as you really cant and shouldnt, you have to enbrace that as a human being, happens to alot of people around the world with families..
my mom wont be finding out since she sucks at comforting and lectures, putting her stuff onto your past and makes you feel even shittier about it.
my dad how-so-ever is very understanding, he helped. and even if it wasnt physical comfort, it was verbal comfort.. i had a tough night last night crying for hours on end. but im doing better today. hopefully will be doing better for the rest of the week and months ahead, i deeply thank every one who helped me through those tough times where posts was about those topics, even if i never replied i have been reading them and it helped me feel better.