Five Nights at Freddy's released when I was 12, and back then I, quite frankly, a bitch. There was a soft ban on anything scary or gory in my house hold because I would freak the fuck out. I did gradually get better over time, but what this anecdote relates to is that when I look back 10 years ago, this type of content that I'm making, these crude and crass rpg parodys, were the last things on my mind. But as time went on, the Autistic Hyperfixation decided to have FNaFB become one, joining the ranks of Kingdom Hearts and Ben 10 and other shit.

When I was much younger, I would diddle around on projects from time to time, but nothing really would be that "good" even by my standards at the time. But I was having fun as the hours wizzed by as I attempted to do then what takes me about 30 seconds to do now. Even if they were corrupted and I lost most of the "most up to date" files, I still look upon them with fond memories. This was also when I peaked playing other fan games. I would spend hours getting overjoyed by games like GE2, BBB, and even Molten Freddy's Choloric Voyage. How I wish I could will myself in the same "gits and shiggles" mentality...

A little about 3 or 4 years or however the fuck long ago, I joined banter for the first time. I generally depict myself as a bit of a loner, but it was BAD during this time guys. I would get super anxious whenever I posted something online. I would barely have any presence but simply engaging with the people that I knew and content that I enjoyed made me happy. Over the years, shit has gone down, for better and worse. People I was once revered I have gained distain for, and vice versa. I have gained a respectable niche within a niche. I have grown to become a much more open and sociable person, with the help of the community slowly forcing me out of my shell. I have gained lifelong friends, even my best friend from romania, all from the community. And the most important, I figured out what I want to do with my life, make video games.

Around the time of making Up On Mount Crumpet and helping to make Finale Expansion with Kamocpl, I could definitely see a difference with how I went about devving things. While I have certainly also learned a lot more since then, it was around that time when I started to expand my horizons with what could be achieved within the engine. Not like Blesstama who, in all respect, huffs a gallon of crack to do some of the most random bullshit imaginable, but rather taking a look at the gameplay and stories of my games and thinking of how I can make them "excellent" instead of "sufficient". This culminated with me being obsessed with balance and prioritizing creative design so much to a point that it has effected my enjoyment of other games and made me become so hyper critical that people actively seek me out for advice with the related things. You can see this culmination in my currently most up to date game Golden Reversal's Demo always be plugging, the attempt that I made to make summon gameplay fun instead of tedious bullshit among other things.

Golden Reversal is a game that I'm equally ashamed of and prideful of. I'm ashamed because even with the significant amount of time I've allotted to it, specifically, there is barely any content to show for it. I've seen and helped encourage devs to do 3 times the amount of shit I've done within the same time period, and this is a shame that I carry with all my games. I'm just slow. All I've released are demos, nothing is more then an hour in length and then it gets abandoned/put aside because the next project has a better scope and can allow me to gain better skills for the "current" one or whatever bullshit excuse I can think of that day. That is something I am attempting to remedy by simply limiting the amount of "new shit" I'll be making. While I will be taking a brief break from GR (Golden Reversal) because of burn out getting it out, i don't intended to be making some new grandiose project, or at least one that will last long until my motivation for GR returns, as I want to have at least SOMETHING be fully released by the time I get out college (which is suppose to be roughly a year and half). On the flipside, this undoubtedly my best work yet. Even before I was truly beta testing or getting people to play my game, shit was locking in so smoothly. The gameplay loop was actually very enjoyable and provides a nice, rich experience where there was choices that felt impactful and proper combos and all that good bullshit. It still needed/needs refinement, but I succeed in my goal of making the summon gameplay actually fun. It also helped me to expand my potential for more shit, like making much more efficient and better custom plugins and things like changing the main menu, making custom models (specifically Beartrap's) for my things and gaining new confidence and skills in blender, and much more. For what is there, I actually like playing it, and that is the biggest thing to me.

I guess in summery is that, even if I am slowly disengaging with some of the finer points of the community, FNaFB is and will always be something super special to me. It has become a big part of my life and I just hope that I'm able to share my visions and progress with you all. Now for a few special shoutouts:
@kamocpl - Kamoc, even if I don't really engage with your shit anymore, I will be eternally grateful that you allowed me to help develop Finale Expansion, even if it was small in the grand scheme of things. I genuinely helped spark my passion for weird over the top bullshit.

@Swagtama - Bless, buddy, I may not agree with your methods most of the time, fuck it 95% of the time, but I heavily respect your dedication for attempting to find new shit to do. Even if it does not pan out well, your experimentation is genuinely very interesting to see as a fly on the wall.

@NightmareDoom - Baka, you've honestly been one of the few people that I can help me maintain my sanity. even if you are a joking asshole most of the time, I can see your genuineness through your actions of constantly helping us test our games and giving your weirdly insightful advice. You've helped our games reach new heights.

@MeltedBox - Typo, I cannot understate how much you mean to me. You've genuinely become one of my best friends that I've ever had, especially in recent years. Even if I do get crossed with you often, it's almost always because I want to see you on the right path, being the type of person I wish I had. And, it has paid off. Each game release I see all of your skills get better and better. Golden Disaster had genuinely hard looking renders near the end despite you only truly starting to truly develop that skill a few short weeks ago. Your commitment to your games is truly commendable and I love seeing the progress you're making. Typo, I love you like a brother, let's hope that in the next 10 years that bond only grows stronger.

You - Yes, you reading this post. Your who I do this for. Sure, I can hakey sack around ideas and demos around with my friends, but it just isn't the same as having a bunch of people on the internet play it. It helps raise my confidence that all the people I see are actively enjoying my games and are wishing I make more to each of them. You help feed my ego, which in this case is a good thing.
I won't go on much any longer, I'll just reiterate that FNaFb is extremely close to my heart, hope to be here for a while longer.

Sincerely,

Frashaw27