Mom came home, yelled, said that I do nothing and yada yada, and yet she apologized which made me surprised because the yelling almost made me cry for the first time in months. She is trying to sleep, and was yelling because she's overwhelmed by everything and because her dogs made a mess of her room. I almost never cry because people never listening to me when I am showing vulnerability or some anger. Yet when I mask everything up then they'll listen to me, and it's soooooooo draining for me and hard because I just breakdown privately and once I am near others then I act like I wasn't just crying or having a "Don't fucking hurt yourself! Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it." fight inside of myself. I haven’t self harmed for a few weeks.