This is me updating you - Entry 1: Hello. I am writing this from my bathroom. I have to keep it short, because this shouldn’t take long. So, I wanted to let you all know that while twiddling my forceps on the toilet seat, that I had the revelation that some of you may not know my current status. As I was away from my computer for approximately 1 minute thus far, I thought the absence of my presence may stir some of you cunts in to a frenzy! Now, we know how important it is to avoid a cunt frenzy, so I thought you should know, that while on the toilet, I am now updating my status, via blog, about my toilet status. Which is quite good at the moment. I believe I just achieved a high score! Well, I now have to walk back to my room. I think I’ll skip washing my hands so none of you miss me. Obviously you may, so I’ll avoid the handwashing all together. Back at my computer now!