(This is what my head sounds like. SOOOO' work brings me comfort. The screaming. The unsettling noises. The chaos. It's how my head sounds like).....

⚠️TW FOR OBNOXIOUS DELUSIONAL RANT:⚠️

I am afraid of "love" I'm afraid of "being loved". What does it mean to "be loved"? Define "love". Can someone like me be "loved"?

No

No

No

No

No

No

No

No

LOVE ISN'T LOVE. LOVE IS A BAD WORD. BAD PEOPLE WHO CLAIM TO LOVE ME HURT ME. JUST SHUT UP ALREADY ..............you love me? You say it once or twice and never speak to me again. You say it once or twice and abandon me. You say it once or twice and your eyes wander to my innocent body.

Am I innocent?

Can I have my innocence?

My blood soaks through my white fleece as I give myself away to you. As I continue to give my body and my conscious away to bad people. What does it mean to be loved. Is that love? Is this the love I've been seeing? I've been hearing? Why does it hurt?

Do I hurt people with my love? LOVE HURT? HURT LOVE?

Am I honest? They're not honest. People are never.

None of this will ever make sense

NONE

NONE

BE A GOOD GIRL THEY SAY.......YES....YES I WILL....YES YES YES YES YES. I WANT YOUR SO CALLED LOVE. HURT ME AND ABANDON ME. USE ME AND ABANDON ME. DISCARD. DISCARD. DISCARD.

NO ONE CARES ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE

maybe they do?

Maybe they care and it's just me again...RIGHT?

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE NOT NOT NOT NOT YES YES YES YES LOVE LOVE LOVE

WHY AM I SO AFRAID OF YOUR LOVE IF IM ASKING FOR IT???????????????????

people people people people people. They said my smile makes people happy. They just want my comfort and support. I give give give give give give give and I have nothing left in the end. people people people friends? friends? Friends? Friends? Scare me? WHY??????????

WHY DO THE WORST KIND OF PEOPLE COME BACK?!? WHY DO THE WORST KIND OF PEOPLE CLAIM THEY LOVE ME?!? WHY DO THE WORST KIND OF PEOPLE SAY THEY LOVE ME?!?!

......why do I love the worst kind of people.........? STOP. STOP.

I love this world.

I see angels.

They guide me.

9

11

12

13

14

15

16

I saw their love. How many forms of "love" is there? Is it supposed to hurt people?

Why does it matter

I'm alone

No

No

No

I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THINGS SHUT UP BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT..... Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry. They're here but they're not here.

Delusional

Delusional. THATS ME.....

I love hate people. I hate love people. I hate people love. DO YOUR BEST, DON'T BE STRESSED. YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THE PEOPLE. :)))))))))))))))))))

NO ONES COMING TO SAVE YOU. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I love.

Give up. Give up. Give up. Give up. No matter what I do it always gets worse. I don't know what's wrong. I'm lost. Lost. Lost. Lost confused? Lost. Lost. Scared.

No. No no. No. No. No. Don't claim you want to save me. You won't. You won't. Maybe for a little. Then you'll GO AWAY HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA...... I'VE NOTICED THIS PATTERN THAT'S BEEN GOING ON FOR YEARS.

I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING..............ARE YOU HAPPY?

.

WHAT DO I WANT?!? WHAT DO I NEED?!? WHY AM I GETTING MAD AT INNOCENT PEOPLE?!? WHAT KIND OF FREAK AM I?!? IM SO SORRY. STOP. STOP. STOP STOP. FOREVER STUCK AND CHAINED TO THIS MISERABLES CYCLE OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND "LOVE".