How come when I’m going through a hard time I always have to be there doing things like chatting, making videos, and calling? Like I just said in my last post that I’m dealing with things and I don’t wanna do anything at the moment yet I still have people on here and irl telling me to do things I don’t wanna do in the current state I’m in. Okay look. I’ve been dealing with mental abuse that I never realized when I was younger and I don’t feel like doing anything until I get myself in a better state of mind. My mental health had been shit ever since 4 quarter started. I’m stressed from school, parents, and just stressed in general. I seriously have thought about k1lling myself but every time I want to I always think about my brother and how if I’m gone he will be sad and I don’t wanna do that to him. I really do try to be happy and cheerful on this app and IRL but it’s hard. I never really talk about my issues with anyone since I don’t trust anyone with my problems. Plus I don’t wanna bother or just vent to someone because it makes me feel guilty. I don’t want my problems to be some else’s issue. I’m dealing with a lot in school and in my family so if that is making you angry that I’m not in the best state to chat, call, go out, or just draw then I’m sorry I don’t f-cking know what you want from me. I may draw, chat, etc if I really feel like it if I want to talk to friends or family but if I don’t then I don’t so just f-cking respect my decision because most of the time when I make that decision it’s because I’m going through sh1t in life and I’m really not in the mood. You don’t have to f-cking PRESSURE ME into doing something just because I said no or I’m not responding to texts, emails, or calls. Honestly when you do that, that just makes my mental state worse and makes me want to do it less and less until I just cut whatever you want me to do off until I get better. Like I’m sorry but I need time to actually get myself together to actually be happy and do the things you want me to do. If that makes you upset, annoying, or angry then again I’m sorry but a no is a f-cking NO. Deal with it. I can’t think straight if I’m under so much f-cking pressure and stress and if you keep nagging me about something then that just makes your chances of me doing that thing worse. Like give me a god d4mn break. I’m sorry if this vent sounds like I’m being rude but I’m done with people doing this to me. I have my own things that I deal with in my life. Just because I’m happy doing one thing doesn’t mean I’m okay with doing another thing. Just understand that I will not be posting or chatting until I get in a better state and mind set. Okay?