There's tons of stuff to talk about, so let's get right into it.

Before we begin, yeah, I know the thumbnail image I made for this looks pretty bad but what do you want it was made in a hurry 💀

Another thing: this is a very long post that will probably take you a lot of time to read in its entirety. For example, it took me 2 hours yesterday. Take a break whenever you need to.

Jairo HQ was an idea for a joke FNaF fangame I had around the final months of 2020. It was inspired by Those Nights at Random's and contained elements from the One Night with a Box series (especially Aftermath) and would have had jokes like the ones in the Five Nights at F***boy's games.

The name was originally just a placeholder, but eventually it grew on me and it ended up being the final one.

The game would've featured me and some of my irl friend's OCs, Those Nights at Random's style.

It would've been your standard FNaF fangame: 5 nights, a special 6th night, an extras menu, custom night, etc. But would've also had cool extra stuff like post-night and 8-bit minigames, a shop. etc...

There were a total of 6 people on the team, and they were all my irl friends that I had known since 2018 (and me, of course).

All of this started when I mentioned FNaF in a conversation once (I don't remember what the context was), two of them were surprised I remembered what it was, because at the time the series was almost dead.

After a long conversation we ended up talking about the fangames, and I jokingly proposed the idea of making our own.

We talked about it with the other 3 and they agreed on helping with it, even though they didn't even know what FNaF was, I believe.

I then began to take ideas from my favourite fangames at the time, and quickly came up with the basic concept of the game:

"A parody fangame featuring our own characters in our own universe"

(which is funny considering I usually hate most kinds of self-inserts in media, lmao)

None of us had any idea of how game development actually worked, but we still tried for a while anyway.

During the game's early development stages (I believe a month or so after we started), a terrible drama between me and another specific person in the group happened, which resulted in the cancellation of the game. I wanted to cut contact with that person, but if I wanted to do that, I would also have to cut contact with all of the rest (too long to explain), and that's what I ended up doing.

I won't talk about the drama itself in here because it would make this post way bigger than it already is. All I'm gonna say about it is that it started because of an Among Us RP.

I'm dead serious.

At first the game was just meant to be a private thing between us, but after a while, we decided we were gonna publish it once it was fully finished, as a surprise of sorts. This meant there would've been two versions of the game: one in spanish and another one in english.

Let's talk about everyone's role in the team. I won't say their actual names in here for the sake of privacy, so I'll refer to them as their respective OCs, as codenames of sorts:

There was "The Crow", the person I had the drama with. They had some very very basic idea about programming, and so, they were gonna be the coder of the game. The game started being coded in a "not-so-legal" version of Clickteam Fusion while they were waiting for a chance to get an official version of it (which never ended up happening, the damn thing costs like 80 euros).

There was "The Anime Catgirl" who was genuinely talented at drawing traditionally, so she became the artist of the game. The plan was to draw everything traditionally and then I would turn everything into digital. Everything in the game would've been drawn because we had absolutely no idea on how to work with 3d.

And finally, there was Me. My job was writing the entire script and coming up with ideas for it, choosing the sound effects that would've appeared in the game, digitalizing the drawings and making the pixel art.

In terms of scripting, I ended up completing up to Night 3 (this only included dialogue and phone calls though, not mechanics).

This script has been lost to time, sadly.

I already had a basic idea on how much content the game would have in general, however.

There were 3 other people helping out. They weren't as invested in the game as we were, and so, their OCs hadn't even been set in stone. However I remember they had some basic ideas of what they could have been.

These 3 mostly just gave ideas (though they didn't do it that much) and were meant to beta test the game once finished.

We were six people in total, which meant the game would've had a minimum of 6 characters, with them representing each of us.

I have two OCs, so if you do the math you'll notice that it doesn't add up. Well, that's why I said minimum. There were 3 other extra characters that were meant to represent our own problems. Regret, jealousy and hatred for Orjia, Imposter's syndrome for "the negative Catgirl" and gender dysphoria for "the negative Crow".

As you saw with Orjia, these "negative characters" had very different designs compared to their normal counterparts, and in the story, were the ones pulling the strings. They all had black and grey color pallettes, and were meant to be kept a secret until the final night of the game (except for Orjia, who would've been the first antagonistic character to be introduced, but wouldn't have attacked you until the end as well)

These 3 "depressed" characters were heavily inspired by One Night with a Box: Aftermath. Credit where credit is due. Play the game if you want to know what I'm talking about. (Or don't, I'm not your mom.)

Out of these 9 characters, you'll only ever be able to see 2 of them, being the ones that belong to me, obviously. I would've drawn the others for y'all to see because I don't like gatekeeping, but I don't think that would've been a good idea considering they do not belong to me.

Out of everyone, I was the one who ended up finishing the most stuff, since I was the one that was the most passionate about the idea. But in general we were all very slow, since we weren't professionals or anything, and this was mostly just for fun. Not only that but we were also busy with school at the time.

We made a private Discord Server so that we could all communicate more easily, cuz even if we all knew each other irl, it still made everything 10 times easier. A decent amount of concept art was shared in there. Most of it was of the characters, but that doesn't mean some room WIPs weren't made. I'll say which ones later, when I show you the map. Sadly 0 builds.

I would share all of the stuff that was made (at least the rooms), because I used to have it. However as I mentioned in a previous post my laptop from back then broke in December 2021... (This will give you an idea of how long it's been since then).

Here are the order in which the characters were made. I know for a fact the people they represent don't wanna associate with them anymore, but I should hopefully at least be able to talk about them.

All of them were concepted by their respective owners, and the full bodies of most of them were drawn: (You might wanna skip to the next section because even I have to admit this part is kinda boring)

The first character to be designed was ORJIA. His design's description was written by me, but I myself never drew him until very recently.

However the current design that y'all saw is NOT his original design. He was originally just a black and white recolor of Jairo with glowing eyes.

(Btw, if you're wondering why both of my OCs are cats, well, it's because they're one of my favourite animals, and irl I actually have 4!)

The 2nd character to be designed was The Negative Crow. Since they were meant to represent gender dysphoria, its body was cut in half, with each side representing both natural sexes. It had very long and spiky hair (kinda like Fireblight Ganon from Zelda Botw). It looked like it was made out of rocks and it had a fuck ton of small holes all over its body. (Would've probably been terrifying to people with trypophobia).

3rd character was its normal version. Was mostly the same except both sides were the same and it had no holes.

The 4th character drawn was The Normal Catgirl. She... was an anime-styled catgirl. That's about it. I'm not the one who made the character so whatever

The 5th character made was Jairo. I don't really have anything to say about him tbh. Unlike Orjia, his design has not changed at all since then. The design y'all saw was the in-game design.

The 6th character to be made was The Negative Catgirl. Her design was meant to be much more "wild", with messier hair and ripped clothes.

As I said before the three remaining characters were never drawn.

The game would have started with a cutscene in the protagonist's house, "Elva Ginon", (the name is a famous pun in spanish) a black mary sue (wow, didn't age badly or anything.)

I remember she looked very similar to the girl from the lyrics video of Savage by Megan Thee Stallion:

This was pure coincidence btw, none of us knew about this video back when she was created. I actually got VERY surprised when I came across it, not that long ago.

Anyway, back to the story.

The local postman arrives at her house in the morning feeling like p diddy and leaves a letter in her front door, written by ORJIA.

Elva wakes up and reads the letter, and it says she's invited to "FIESTA PLOP," (which btw is a real thing) which would be celebrated at Jairo HQ at exactly 12AM today (wow totally not suspicious at all). This obviously wasn't happening, and it was a trap all along.

Elva, like the [REDACTED] she is, believes it, and wakes up his "boyfriend" Keko Jones (who is actually a sugar daddy) all excited.

Later that day, she goes to the Jairo HQ building.

In here, an 8-bit minigame would have started. The objective would have been to go to the office. Once you got there, a dialogue between Elva and Orjia would have started.

He asks Elva if "she wants to play his game" along with some other generic Sonic.exe repetitive stuff

Orjia's game was basically just "Survive until 6AM and you're free, and if you die, well, you die, duh".

Elva says no because she has at least some sort of common sense, so Orjia does "something" (I forgor) to her and she remains unconscious until 1 AM.

At the end of every "night" (technically hour in-universe) an 8-bit minigame similar to the one at the beginning of the game would start.

In there, you would've had several options:

Explore the place and eventually do the Jollibee's-like task / minigame that Orjia tells you to do (he's pretty much just using you throughout the entire game) and also visit Morshu's Shop along the way. Yes, the same Morshu from one of the Zelda CD-I games.

He was immune to the lore. (But he couldn't transcend time and space.)

In the shop you would have been able to buy decorations for the office and I think other stuff like cheats as well? (Though they would've obviously been much more expensive and wouldn't be able to be activated until you unlocked the extras menu). Idk, I never got to the point of planning the specific stuff you could buy.

Doing the post-night minigames would actually be useful, as they would've given you coins for Morshu's shop and doing all of them would be one of the necessary steps to get the good ending. This is because each of them would've given you a "piece of diary" of the respective minigame's character. These pieces of diaries were meant to explain the backstories of each character and how they met the others.

You also had the option of staying in the office, smoking a blunt.

The original plan was to JUST have the 8-Bit free roam sections, but over time we realized there wasn't much to do in them aside from just walking (which would've been quite boring), so we ended up adding Jollibee's-like minigames as well, for better or for worse.

There was a phone guy. He was meant to be Keko at first, who would call you every hour to ask you how you were doing. However we couldn't get an old man voice, so the phone guy ended up being changed to some random guy who was forced to play Orjia's game before Elva, and left some tapes for the next person to hear before dying. I was going to voice him while putting on a very deep voice, since I knew how to talk english the best out of everyone.

I had plans to rewrite and re-record the Hour 1 phone call for this post and include it in the sound files download as a fun voice reveal, but it sounded like shit. (I have a lot of gay and spanish accent so I don't think anybody would've actually wanted to hear it, lmaooooooo)

That's mostly everything. I guess I'll talk about the endings now?

BAD ENDING:

At the end of the 5th hour (5:59 AM) Orjia would be fully fed up with your redbullshit (Editor's note: what the fuck did old me mean by this) and get all mad, because he expected you to die as soon as the game started. He would start having a mental breakdown in front of you until he couldn't take it anymore and KILLS you!!!!!!!! (Once again, inspired by Box Aftermath)

After seeing that her gf didn't return home, Keko would have called the police and all of the characters would have been arrested and taken to jail (I know this makes no sense but whatever, it was a joke game), except for Orjia and his 2 depressed pals, who escaped from the building. This open ending was done on purpose to open up space for a potential sequel if the first game was succesful (g'damn...)

It was planned to be called "Jairo HQ 2: Under The Radar"

If done, this "potential sequel" would've taken place in the jail the characters were sent to. You would have played as Keko, who is working there as the nightguard to interrogate the characters and find out what happened to his gold digger (Elva).

The main mechanics planned for it was that the characters would try to escape through a man-made hole done in the fence surrounding the jail. Your job was to not let them escape, obviously.

This sequel wasn't 100% guaranteed to happen and for the most part it was just a big what if.

In this game, the characters wouldn't have been controlled by Orjia but rather, they would have officially gone insane and desperately wanted to get out of jail, and would do anything to achieve it. (I don't think Orjia was even gonna be in this game outside of minigames, despite being the most important character in the first one, which is kinda weird now that I think about it?)

There were 2 kinds of characters "the attackers" and "the escapists / escapers" (not sure what the correct word is, I'm dumb).

The escapists would never try to attack you. Their sole purpose was to escape through the hole (which would've resulted in a game over).

The attackers would act like your standard FNaF fangame enemies and try to get to your office and kill you, basically distracting you to make the escapists' job easier.

Jairo himself would have probably been an escapist.

The main way to defend yourself was never planned.

An idea I had is that the cameras would have worked like actual real life cameras, where all of them can be seen at the same time in multiple screens / monitors. You would have been able to turn to the right of your office, where they would be in a table.

This was the map:

The big ass green room at the top right was a yard, and where the hole was located. Bottom right was a separate, smaller building that would've probably had a purpose, but I don't know what it would've been. There was a vent that connected the small building with a room of the big building.

The characters would have started in the bottom left room (or maybe off-screen? I don't remember.)

The cutscenes / post-night minigames would've been about an ongoing ace attorney-styled case. You would've played as an investigator / detective investigating Elva's death, while slowly coming to the conclusion that Orjia's party was the one behind all of the chaos.

At the end of the game, the characters would be proven to be innocent, so they would be set free. After finding out who the real criminals where, the police (who isn't dogshit unlike the police in the real world) would start searching for Orjia and company, and once found they would be taken to jail, where they would never escape. Elva Ginon's soul felt a disturbance in the force, apparently, and her spirit was set free, and Keko and her lived happily ever after. (despite one of them being a ghost)

This was the end of the entire story.

Jairo HQ 1 is about the golden years of your life and the moments you'll want to cherish forever.

Jairo HQ 2 is about the worst moments. Where everything seems dark and there's no escape.

Fhew... That was long... Let's talk about the good ending now!

GOOD ENDING:

By following some sort of unnecesarily complicated steps (don't forget this is a FNaF fangame) you would have been able to stop Orjia at the last second and free all of the characters from his control. Because SPOILER!!!!!! None of the characters that attacked you throughout the game were actually evil, they were just being mind controlled by Orjia and his 2 other friends, somehow.

Orjia would get even more mad at Elva for stopping him, but this time he wouldn't kill her. This time, things would get personal, and so, Orjia would challenge Elva to a d-d-d-d-d-d duel against him and the other negative characters, which would have started the special 6th hour, only accesible by trying to get the Good Ending.

In the 6th hour (6 AM) everything would be changed. The building would be all black and white and in an abandoned state, with broken walls, cobwebs, etc.

All of the other characters would be gone, because you just freed them.

If you won the night, you would've finally gotten the good ending. Elva would've escaped Jairo HQ (she couldn't before because Orjia locked up the exit or smth idk) and would've reunited with Keko.

This would've unlocked the Extras menu and the Custom Night (which would have been called "Freeplay Mode" in-game)

Btw I forgot to mention this:

Jairo HQ (The building) has 2 floors. In-universe, Floor 1 was originally built by Jairo and the rest as a place to celebrate their own personal parties. Other random people could also host their own parties as well. However by the time the game would've taken place, Floor 1's function of being a disco club had been discontinued, and the building is private.

Floor 2 was created as a home for Jairo and the rest. It's where they live in. It also serves as a hotel for visitors.

I know it's a really weird combination of concepts that doesn't make too much sense, but don't forget this was meant to be a joke game.

Orjia and his pals don't live in Jairo HQ, they usually like to hang out in abandoned places like warehouses and shit (so they're basically homeless). During the events of the game, they're there as... squats? I'm not sure if that's the correct word...

Just in case, I'm talking about the second meaning of the word, marked in red.

The reason they're in the HQ in the first place is because they want to kill people, not without playing a game with them first, just for fun and because they had nothing better to do. And that's what the intro cutscene of the game was, basically!

Another thing, all of the locations in the game were located in an imaginary country (or island idk) called "The Nation Without Imagi"

I don't really know where to place this next part so I might as well do it here, even if it's not related to the story:

The locations of the game were planned to have a very girl-y aesthetic, with mostly pink and purple colors. That's because I thought they fit the overall vibe I was trying to achieve with the game. If you want an example, just go play any version of FNaTAS 4 or something. I recently noticed it's very similar. Not exactly the same, but it's the closest thing I've seen so far.

There would've been a "Twitter Mode" option that would censor all of the offensive and mature content featured in the game, and a "Youtuber Mode" that would've removed copyrighted content in the game. Mostly the night ambiences, which would have been 80's songs which would've played quietly in the background. Just like with the colors, I chose them because I thought they fit the overall vibe and aesthetic of the game (it wasn't trying to be scary but rather more like "chill" or "calm", I'd say?). They were slowed and reverbed because I wanted to recreate the feeling these kind of videos give

Despite this the game wasn't set in the 80's, but rather the late 2010's.

I remember a map was made, however as I said earlier I lost everything made for the game (which means I wrote everything in this post from memory too) so here's a recreation of how I remember it looking like:

Cam 1 was the stage

Cam 2 was just a random corner

Cam 3 was the shop

Cam 4 allowed you to see wheter the characters were gonna enter Cam 9 (the Maintenance Room) or the Adult Room (Cam 10)

Cam 5 and 6 allowed you to see right outside your doors

Cam 7 was the exit

Cam 8 was a "VIP only room" which allowed you to see wheter the characters were gonna go to F2 or the vent

The only rooms that were fully designed were the stage, the backstage, the adult room (called w*nk room in-game but Game Jolt would delete this post if I said the word) the exit, the shop, and a barebones version of the office.

Here's a relatively recent attempt at remaking / reimagining the exit camera that I decided to do just for fun:

(Yes, I had to use blender to have a perspective reference. Is that a bad thing?)

And here's a very recent sketch of the office:

Obviously the final thing would've been less empty and more interesting to look at. And yes, this is what the plushie drawings I made like 3 days ago were for.

The idea for the map was that the left path was shorter than the right path, however the right path had more important stuff, like access to Floor 2 or the backstage.

The backstage worked similarly to the Maintenance Room from FNaTAS 1 Classic (except in this game it would've been fair because you would've actually known when a character was about to enter it), and the "adult" room had a FNaF 1 Foxy-Like mechanic in it. I'd rather not go into detail about it.

Floor 2 was never made aside from the concept (it would've been a hotel as I said before). The idea came from this video. (Yeah, sometimes you can find inspiration in the weirdest stuff...)

Jairo himself would have activated in Hour 1, which means he would have had a simple mechanic. However, I wanted him to feel important, so the plan was to make him "evolve" the more you progressed in the game. Every hour he would gain a new ability on top of the previous one.

Fast forward to around half a year later (2021), I was still sad that the game was cancelled.

Then I got the idea of reviving it all by myself.

This version was drastically different compared to the previous one. It was now a much smaller, one night game with very little content. A normal night, a harder night, an extras and that was about it.

All of the characters were gone except for mine, Jairo and Orjia. A new character was created specifically for this version of the game: "The Robanovios" (I have no idea why I chose that name, kill me pls.)

It was a female darker Endo-02 with a lot of lipstick on its mouth. It had the accesories and even some ripped off body parts of all of the removed characters from the previous version. It had some blood here and there as well.

The building would have looked like it did in Hour 6 of the previous version. Abandoned, with tears and cobwebs everywhere. It was all very dark, and the remaining lights were flickering non-stop. The layout was the same but most of the cameras were "broken" and only 3 or 4 worked.

Instead of the office being just one single png, it was like Popgoes, where you could spin 360 degrees across 4 different images representing each side / wall.

There was no story at all, and the protagonist was just "you".

Here's an idea I remember having for Jairo's jumpscare:

The idea was that, at first, he would try to gaslight you into thinking he's trustworthy, and right when he was outside your door, he would shapeshift into... whatever this thing is.

This doesn't fit his personality at all, but I thought it was a cool idea.

(As you might have noticed, I hated myself quite a lot when I made this mechanic.)

The Idea for Orjia was that his face would be split in half (revealing his skull) and some of his body parts would turn fully white and start glowing a lot. I don't remember what this was meant to represent though.

Anyway, this version of the game was teased in my 2021 spawnday post. But truth is, it got nowhere as well.

The biggest reason behind its cancellation (aside from the fact that I didn't and still don't know how to code) is that the rooms I had drawn weren't up to my own standards. They looked like shit, since they had no shading and the colors were too bright (and they were also kinda empty).

Then I looked at other drawn FNaF Fangame's rooms and they obviously looked much better than mine, which made me feel like shit, so I gave up.

Looking at it now, this sounds very stupid.

Here's a download link for a recreation of all of the assets of this version:

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/14yBljW0gf6-yFbIyHFRhgAL16R9nD4wM?usp=sharing

(TAKEN DOWN)

At the beginning of the post I said we started this game "for the LOLs" but that wasn't the real reason. I'll explain:

I'm a VERY jealous person. It's a problem I've had my entire life, and GameJolt made it even worse.

I remember at the time (not as much nowadays) I would look at all of these FNaF fangame devs that were much younger than me and get all pissy because they had somehow managed to make something I could not. And had the talent and creativity I wanted to have.

I was like: "Some people know how to draw, some people know how to 3D model, some others know how to program stuff... Some even know how to do all three! ...But what can I do? I can't do anything!"

I started this game because I wanted to feel like I could create and make something as well. I was tired of feeling useless and being jealous. I wanted my time to shine to finally come.

However it ended up biting me in the ass.

I'm not that immature nowadays though (13 year old me was very dumb 💀)

Say what you want about this but at least I wasn't trying to ruin or leak other people's games like some others have.

I used to be very sad the game was cancelled until relatively recently. I mean, it would've been better if the game managed to come out and no drama ever happened, obviously, but I still think everything could've ended much worse, somehow.

All of this taught me a lot about game development and how hard it actually is, and it also helped me develop my skills in multiple ways. I definitely wouldn't be the person I am nowadays without it, for better or for worse.

The negative effects it used to have on my life have started to weigh down and do not affect me anymore, both mentally and literally.

You see, I already talked a little bit about this at the beginning but, after lots of thinking I came to the conclusion that the Among Us RP drama only happened between me and only one other person in the group (that being The Crow), and that I ended things in good terms with the rest. However since I wanted to cut contact with that person, I was pretty much forced to also cut contact with the rest. After a while the rest also cut contact with "them" (singular they, not plural they) because they also realized how shitty they were.

So, around the end of March of this year I had the balls to contact the other people of the group for the first time in more than two years, and after talking for a while, we all reunited after so long!

Which essentially meant I recovered my old friends. (Except for The Crow, but we all hate them lol. We don't even know what's up with them nowadays, believe it or not. Actually, we believe nowadays they're trying to hit on people much, MUCH younger than them, which is a little bit concerning?)

It's honestly very surreal to be able to say this because it's something I never thought would end up happening. But here I am.

When the drama back then happened, something changed in me. It's like I stopped feeling "alive" in a way, and I felt like I was just "existing", but not really living.

I can't say I still feel the same now :)

We all still talk almost every day and even go out from time to time, like we used to in the "old days". It's great... 🥲

Anyway! Let's stop being emotional and let's go back to the game. That's what you were here for, right?

Well, since I'm never going to do anything related to them ever again, I had plans a while ago to give ownership of Jairo and Orjia to anyone who may have been interested in such. Although this probably wouldn't work out considering how closely related to me both of them are...

However this new theoretical new owner would've had full creative freedom over them so "they" could've changed anything about them like names, designs, backstories, etc.

literally anything. I guess they don't really belong to anyone now? Idk. Feel free to steal them if you ever want to for some reason, lol. I don't really care about them that much anymore.

Speaking of stealing, everyone is 100% allowed to use any of the ideas (that inclused concepts, maps, mechanics, EVERYTHING) I had for any of these games, just as long as you give credit. It would be kind of an honor.

Game development simply isn't my thing. It's something that I'd love to do, but I just can't.

And y'know what? That's totally fine! Up until now I thought this fact meant I was completely useless and couldn't do anything. But's that's far from the truth. It just means I was made for something else. And I'm motivated to find that "something else" I'm good at.

I'm still young and I have a lot to live for, I can't spend my entire life just thinking about this one (1) fnaf fangame.

I still decided to make this post because I didn't want to leave people empty handed, and because I want to finally move on after so long and enjoy life once again, specially now that everything has "gone back to normal", per se.

I'm not sure what the future of this account will be. I feel like this post would be a very nice way to end everything.

You see, GameJolt has hurt me in a lot of ways and has been the direct cause of a lot of my problems, and overall the website is very different to how it used to be and I do not feel welcome anymore.

But at the same time, it's given me so much positive stuff and so much entertainment, that I feel like I would lose a lot if I were to leave...

However, I've tried to revive this account many many times and all of them failed miserably. I think my days of being relevant are gone. At this point in time GameJolt is nothing but a roadblock that won't let me achieve happiness and just gives me headaches.

One thing's for sure though. For now I will be taking a break for an indefinite amount of time and after a while I'll make my final decision. I want to spend more time developing my recently recovered irl relationships, as I feel that will help me out much more in the long run.

If I do end up leaving for good, I won't delete any of my posts. I'm not really proud of most of the old ones... y'know, I was kind of an asshole back in the day. I've changed a lot since then, I'm more of an empath now, but deleting them would be like trying to hide who I used to be, and I don't think that's a good thing.

I was originally just going to delete my account today without saying a word and call it a day, but I technically promised I would make this post, and... well, a promise is a promise.

...If you didn't scroll all the way down here and actually took your time to read everything I wrote, Thank You. A lot.

This probably won't get as much attention as I wanted to, but I'll be happy if even just one person reads it in its entirety.

I would like to apologize to all of the people that I used to talk to back in the day but then stopped doing so all of a sudden, and the people I denied the friend requests of. It's not that I forgot about you, or that I started hating you. It's that things happened and I stopped wanting to talk with anyone, and when I got better I was too shy to reach back to all of you... I hope you can forgive me for that.

I wish things could have gone down a different path, but I guess it is what it is.

As closing thoughts, I want to say that, if you ever feel like everything has gone to shit for you and you want to give up on your life, don't. The future is uncertain, life is always moving and things are always changing, for better or for worse.

It's never too late to start all over again. You can always give yourself a second, third or even fourth chance. It's what I did, and I ended up fixing most of my problems that way.

You may think all of this is dumb, corny shit, but I'm personally proud of everything I wrote in here.

I also wanted to say that, just because you know your dream is ruined and you'll never be able to achieve it, not everything is over, the world isn't going to end and even endless nightmares have an exit. I know from experience.

I love y'all... <3