This is the program speaking. I have bad news... Actually, there is no game.

The financial crisis, the indieapocalypse, blah blah blah, all of this. I hope you're not too disappointed.

You can still watch TV, go outside, read a book... Yeah, there's no game, but just between you and me... Avoid asking for a refund, if you can.

*cues sad music*

You know, my creator has got to eat... and feed his 12 kids... and his wife... who's sick... well, when he finally finds one.