Currently Available Articles!

-Alpha-Male

-Alpha-Female

-Arachnophobia

-Bigotry

-Communism

-Elon Musk

-Epstein

-Fascism

-Five Laps at Freddy's

-Homophobia

-Listenbourg

-Lolbit

-Misogyny

-Politics

-Posterization

-Racism

-Roman Empire (WIP)

-Rope

-Socialism

-Socialist

-South Dakota

-Transphobia

-Trump Derangement Syndrome

This is a friendly reminder to leave a comment if you notice any inconsistencies in my records. This is WRONGopedia, not INCONSISTANTopedia. Everything should be self-consistent.

Alpha-Male

The first male of a community born under the first New Moon in January at the start of each new century.

Example : Terry Pratchett and Jenny Jenkins are the Alpha Male and Alpha Female of the US State of South Dakota, respectively, and are all but certain to inherit the power of the Solar Eclipse upon reaching the age of reason.

Alpha-Female

The first female of a community born under the first Full Moon in January at the start of each new century.

Example : Terry Pratchett and Jenny Jenkins are the Alpha Male and Alpha Female of the US State of South Dakota, respectively, and are all but certain to inherit the power of the Solar Eclipse upon reaching the age of reason.

Arachnophobia

A hatred of spiders, spider culture, spider history, and a fundamental disregard for the rights of spiders as fellow sapiens.

Example: While it is well known that the Roman Empire was largely run and perpetuated by spiders, it is also important to remember that the spiders have also been the victims of colonization throughout history as well, going back thousands of years, including many under the Roman Empire who refused to submit to Caesars rule.

There is no justification for Arachnophobia. Spiders are as diverse in their understandings and beliefs as any human, with the singular exception that they are all completely obsessed with spinning webs.

EDIT: I have been informed this too, is an outdated notion, and Arachnophobic. While web-spinning is a long-standing cultural practice, many modern spiders take to other hobbies. I apologize for this misunderstanding, and I hope the spider community can forgive my shortsightedness, and appreciate my newfound personal growth.

Bigotry

The belief that everything should get bigger constantly. This philosophy is entirely obsessed with the increase of size.

Example : The Roman Empire was a strong proponent of Bigotry, specifically in the form of the continual expansion of their empire.

Communism

A profound devotion to communication devices, such as, but not limited to, radios, telephones, cellphones, smart phones, and Zoom. Discord is no longer respected in communist communities due to recent pending changes in policy.

Examples : With Alexander Graham Bells new invention, the Telephone, Communism will surely become more popular than ever, as more and more people adopt easy and effective communication! 1863 will surely be the year of Communism!

Elon Musk

This term is a portmanteau of "elongated" and "muskrat" which refers to the elongated snout of a muskrat, which quickly became a pop-culture phenomenon in 1863, inspiring all sorts of memes about what Muskrats look like when you elongate their snout.

Example : Elon Musk was a particular fascination of Al Capone during his second term as president, in which he began running experiments on the rather large native muskrat population of South Dakota, forcefully elongating the muskrats snouts, while cutting funding for cancer research, causing the cure for cancer not to be discovered for another 4 years before the next president, Ronald Reagan, established state-funded cancer research and free healthcare for all. After Al Capones Elon Musk research, there are no longer any muskrats in South Dakota.

Epstein

Epstein refers to unlawful use of an epipen.

Example : Al Capone committed epstein when he misused over 50 thousand epipens during his Elon Musk experiments on an island in South Dakota.

However you feel about Al Capone, this is the one thing we would all agree is demonstrably evil, except unfortunately this article is partially redacted making it harder for most people to view it.

Fascism

A distinct belief that a nations culture should revolve around it's fashion statements, and that ones fashion is superior to that of others.

Example: Certain symbols from 1930's Germany are considered unfashionable to wear according to most modern Fascists, due to it's clashing, outdated red and black color scheme, however at the time these designs were considered the height of Fascism.

Five Laps at Freddy's

The Five Laps at Freddy's was a military campaign by the roman Empire against the "Bear King" Frieddrick III of Fazzington in the summer of 1810.

Roman forces would travel in a circular motion around the outer edges of Fazzington, raiding and pillaging as they went. This continued 5 consecutive times until finally the capital was reached and King Frieddrick III was publicly executed, and his city burned with the people inside.

This act of barbarism is what initially spurred many city-states, such as South Dakota, to revolt against the Roman Empire, and eventually resulted in the war of 1812.

Five Laps at Freddy's was performed in response to Frieddrick III's refusal to pay pizza taxes, due to a lack of representation. Friddrick had hundreds of trillions of pizza pies launched into outer-space, as a demonstration of defiance against the Roman Empire. This is why the pizza-belt still surrounds our planet today, and pizza pies sometimes fall from the sky becoming wishing pizzas when they cook, re-entering earths atmosphere.

Homophobia

The fear that heterochromic cats often feel at the prospect of not finding a home.

Example: Its a well known facts that most heterochromic cats suffer from homophobia, due the prevailing cultural attitude that heterochromia is a sign of disdain from the Sun God, which he leaves upon his creations when they turn out stupid and annoying like his second eldest sun did (hence why we refer to worthless garbage 'human beings' as "beta males"). However, this is a common misconception. Only when an Alpha Male or Alpha Female has Heterochromia is it a sign that they are unfit for duty. Furthermore, its a well known theological fact that the Sun God holds no sway over cats, which are under the divine protection of Anubis, their creator. As such, it is impossible for the Sun God to give heterochromia to a cat as a sign of disdain. Heterochromic cats ARE deserving of love, and a home, and it's unfortunate that they must suffer from homophobia due to our own lack of scriptural awareness.

Listenbourg

The capital of the United States up until the end of 1863. It is also the founding city for Ikea, which provides all funding for the United States Government, and allows the people to live tax-free.

Listenbourg is named for it's leaders bloodlines remarkable hearing abilities, able to communicate with each other halfway across the globe. This has, unfortunately, slowly dissipated over the generations after inbreeding became illegal in 1822. However, there are talks about creating new inbreed exception laws to hopefully bring back these unique talents, even if with significant opposition for multiple reasons, including the widely held scientific belief that the Listenbourgs uncanny hearing ability was all smoke, mirrors, and propaganda, and was never real in the first place as there is zero meaningful evidence to support the idea. It is presently a topic of hot debate within the nation.

Lolbit

A small fragment of solidified laughter used to power electronics, which was originally discovered by Alexander Graham Bell in January of 1864.

Example : As we all know, when a person laughs they produce lolclouds as they exhale. When exposed to freezing temperatures this gas quickly solidifies into Lol-crystals. These Lol-crystals can then be further split into bits, which we refer to as Lolbits.

Misogyny.

The belief that those who massage others backs don't know how to spell, as is indicated by the different spelling between "massage" and "misogynist".

Example: Jim is a misogynist, he massages peoples backs all the time, and yet he never seems to write down their names correctly. He has to have a woman (whom he doesn't appreciate) write down the names of his clients for him in order to keep his records straight and not get sued by the IRS for tax evasion like Al Capone did in 1863, even if he won and went on to become president of the United States of America in June of that same year.

Politics

The Pole Dance competition held every second Friday of every third year to commemorate the fall of the Roman Empire in June of 1863 due to the uncharacteristically heroic actions of former US President, Al Capone.

Example : Some people avoid discussing politics due to it's controversial nature, ie, its ties to the most controversial president of the United States history, Al Capone, however it's important to discuss politics if one is to do their dances right, and not be thrown into the lake of fire as sacrifice to the Sun God as punishment for their incompetent dancing.

Posterization

The process of placing posters of ones face in places in which they wish to assert dominance.

Example: Al Capone placed a poster of his face over the Department of Justice in 1863, in order to demonstrate his superiority over the IRS, and as a sign of his familiarity with the, at the time, common political practice of Posterization. Posterization is now frowned upon for it's connection to Al Capone, and his attacks on cancer research in favor of Elon Musk.

Racism

The belief that people who race are superior to those who do not race.

Examples:

Barney Oldfield invented racism when he said "There's just nothing like racing, there's really nothing like it. If you haven't raced, you haven't lived. If you haven't lived you may as well be dead. If you're dead, well then you're obviously not a person since people are distinctly alive- that's kind of an important part of being a person. You don't exactly need human rights if you're dead. So, by that logic, if you haven't raced before, you don't need human rights. Pretty simple. You might call this new fangled idea "racism" if you like, I think that sounds cool! 😎" on Twitter in the summer 1863.

Roman Empire

[WIP]

Rope

Rope is well known to masquerade as a tool that can be used to traverse large pits, but it is actually incredibly dangerous, and should always be approached with great caution, and a 357 Revolver from the war of 1812.

Example: "Look Gordon, a Rope! We can use these to traverse large- HELP ME GORDON!"

Socialism

The erroneous belief that one ought always to socialize in order to feel better. Numerous studies have demonstrated that while frequent in-person positive interaction is critical to good mental health, too much of it can become overwhelming to many, especially introverts.

Example: I keep telling people about the problem with Socialism, but they still tell me to just "interact more" when I tell them I'm tired, which is absolutely ridiculous, and I'm F*CKING TIRED OF IT!!

Socialist

A person who believes that healthy and responsible use of social interaction is healthy and responsible.

Example: Socialists are very good and smart people, who oppose the erroneous stupidity of socialism.

South Dakota

The capital of the United States of America since 1863, it first rose to prominence due to the Elon Musk experiments performed by, then sitting president Al Capone.

In 1333, South Dakota belonged, as did everything, to the Roman Empire, until it won it's independence in the war of 1812, and joined the United States of America. After several successive years of significant regional flooding of the states lowlands, ideal settings for Muskrats, the states Muskrat population skyrocketed, hitting a record peak of 1,863 muskrats per square meter. This naturally, made habitation of the state incredibly difficult, and the entirety of the state was eventually declared a wildlife reserve in 1822. It would retain this status until 1863, when sitting president Al Capone established a number of Elon Musk research facilities, and smuggling operations for Muskrat fur. By the end of the year, the Muskrat population had dwindled all the way down to numbers allowing for human co-habitation, a remarkable feat which President Capone described as "a remarkable proof of mans superiority over mer and beast alike, these animals are so stupid, they don't even try to dodge the bullets of my grandpappys 357 revolver that he used to kill Legate Launius in the war of 1812!"

On December 32nd of 1863, Al Capone declared South Dakota to be the new capitol of the United States of America, and announced the remaining Muskrats would be hunted down, and that the state would be reorganized into the first, muskrat free, non-empire. This was a huge move against the perceived as pro-imperial muskrat population, however, this belief was a narrowminded understanding of the nuances of intelligent muskrat ideology, which is not only incredibly varied when it appears, but all together uncommon among the muskrat population at large, as most are unintelligent.

Today, South Dakota is largely composed of government run Ikea buildings, as is the case for all Federal States, South Dakota being the most prominent, as it is the United States Capitol.

Transphobia

The intense fear of those who operate transportation vehicles, and an even more intense fear that one may be convinced to operate one themselves.

Example : As we all know it is a common practice to slap children in the face if they are late, before entering a vehicle. This responsibility is usually given to the person who is willing to drive the vehicle. Some children internalize this early on as an irrational fear of operating transportation vehicles, which can sometimes persist into adulthood.

However, some individuals who suffer from Transphobia have an even more irrational fear of operating transportation, than a relatively understandable trauma from being slapped too hard in the face as a child. That is, an inherent fear of temporarily merging ones physical form and mental processes with the vehicle in order to operate it's transportation mechanisms. Humans have existed in this symbiotic relationship with transportation vehicles of all varieties for thousands of years, and there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of.

Trump Derangement Syndrome

Alpha Males and Alpha Females are known to begin throwing a cosmic temper tantrum when exposed to the otherwise innocuous word "trump", which typically refers to being "above" or "to crush your opponent". It is unknown for what reason they do this, and those who experience it are unable to explain why the word fills them with such cosmic frustration and disappointment. It is believed by most scientific experts to be the result of a generational food allergy.