HOW THE

YOU!

WARNING / DISCLAIMER:

The following article is over-exaggerated. Not all opinions in this article are accurate to my actual thoughts and feelings.

Listen, people, I grew up with iPhones throughout my childhood and my teenage life, and I watched Apple grow and grow, but I realized that the closer I get to becoming an adult, the worse it gets.

This article is based off of the Triggered You series by Nathaniel Bandy. You can see his cool videos here on his YouTube channel: Nathaniel Bandy - YouTube.

𝑌𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑．😩

The original iPhone was a revolution, but my God was it a bulky fella.

And don't even get me started on the prototype!

And the screen is so small! Like, who's gonna see the screen that well?

The keyboard is downright ALSO small! I need a magnifying glass to use this!

The visual interface is freaking nostalgic and old school, ngl.

The iPhone overall is WAY too underpowered and most games don't even run well on iPhone. And holy CRAP, even SAMSUNG was collaborating with Apple back in the day!

Ah yes, the iPhone 3G, my favorite handheld to smudge my fingerprints on! Mmmmm!

Oh great, the iPhone 4, it's flat, and yet, UNDERPOWERED.

I still have the iPhone 4 today, and it aged horribly.

The iPhone 3G was the first that introduced Voice Control, AKA, Siri.

THAT sounds dangerous! Ge-Get that away from me!

Apple used to work with Intel back in the day, but because Apple is advancing faster and started making their own computer chips, and Intel is having problems on their own, Apple is moving on, leaving Intel behind.

J E R K S !

The iPhone 5 was the first to introduce Touch ID...the hell...?

Is this supposed to be foreshadowing the police confiscating iPhone to track someone who steals a car or whatnot? If people don't wanna have Touch ID on their phones, the iPhones should say this:

"HEY, MORON! DON'T PUT YOUR FRICKING FINGER ON THE BUTTON! YOU HEAR ME! HUH? HUH?"

The iPhone was a great mobile device except for one thing: There is NO headphone jack. That one thing in smartphone history that literally NOBODY likes and hasn't left us since. Great...

Unless if you have an "exclusive" iPhone headphones, you're going to be forced to spend 10 WHOLE BUCKS for a stupid adapter.

And the headphone adapter itself is pretty bad. It breaks really easily, gets lost easily, and it's overall just garbage.

Oh great, the iPhone 8...wait a minute...this looks the same as the previous models...

And there it is again...

And again...

And agai-is it SERIOUSLY rereleasing iPhones every year with the same design for no goddamn reason?

Why does Apple rerelease the same models with a slightly upgrade chip being the ONLY change in the iPhones every year?

Oh, wait a minute, I know why, because it makes Apple the MOOLA!

Honestly, Apple needs to stop bragging about their iPhones.

In every single Apple Event, Apple announced the same line over and over again.

"Best smartphone chip ever in history"

"Best cameras in smartphone history"

"Best security ever in smartphone history"

"Most powerful mobile phone in smartphone history"

"Microphones on iPhones now enables up to double of noise cancellations"

Apple, you really need to understand the reality and stop releasing iPhones every year with very little change.

OK, I take that back, Samsung is WORSE.

Ah, now that makes a HELL LOT of sense!

Now the iPhone X got us Face ID? That is worse, bro. Hackers can literally take a snap out of the camera and then frame you for crimes.

This was the beginning of an era where iPhones mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING because they're WAY too similar! The speed is the same, the camera's the same, the battery's the same, and the design is the same.

I like how the slogan for the October Apple Event is...

"Hi, Speed."

Yeah, uh-huh, sure, buddy.

Apple invented the AirPods along with the iPhone 7, and it became the most popular accessory, oh God.

The AirPods are home to the worst clones in existence. Like, seriously, DON'T buy any of those.

There were rumors about wireless headphones and earbuds causing brain cancer and other types of health risks due to Bluetooth radiation.

So, yeah, I'm sticking with wired headphones, ACTUALLY radiation-free here.

WARNING:

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE MEMES I MADE ABOVE ARE NOT MEANT TO HARASSS THE PEOPLE IN THE APPLE EVENTS OR ANYBODY ELSE IN ANY WAY. PLEASE DO NOT HATE THEM FOR WHAT THE MEMES SAY AS THEY STILL DO SIGNIFICANT WORK TO THEIR JOB/VIDEOS.

Oh my god, I can't take the stupidity any longer!

First off, it's the MILLIONTH time you've said that line, and second, nobody cared!

A bunch of people nowadays now only used their phones like TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, and social sh*t.

"iPhone 14: Big and Bigger"?

Bruh, soon, those iPhones are going to become IPADS.

If you want something that big, then maybe buy a larger device like...idk...maybe a F*CKING IPAD PRO?!?

Who the hell would wanna spend $200 on a freaking pencil?

Apple, it's a pencil. A PENCIL, like what kind of non-sense is this?

For a few years, the iPhones cost A WHOLE GRAND. And then more than that if you request extra storage space.

And to make matters worse, the iPhones actually cost MORE than the iPads! Like, good lord, man!

OMG...that's a lot of writing. 😪

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this new article. I spent a whole 2 hours on it. Remember that Apple is still a company themselves putting a lot of effort in their technology and all of the things I said in this article is a joke.

And if you wanna get triggered even HARDER then read this “How my romantic relationship TRIGGERS you” article.

Thanks, Nathaniel Bandy for supporting that 𝕄𝔼𝕄𝔼!

Thanks for reading and have an awesome day! 👍