(I'm sorry for not posting anything about PT today, I'm feeling miserable.)

Since the new school year started, I don't know who am I anymore. I have too many dualities in my life. I want to get new friends but I also don't want to because I'm worrying about getting judge. I don't like to eating but I don't like starving myself too. I want to keep this account for only around of game developing but I want to post the stuff that I've found on internet and about myself. I'm always a septimistic person for everything like my mother but my father says that I should be an optimistic person. But I can't, septimism stucked to me. I like being a different person than others and I do not because I know I won't be wanted in group of friends. I even don't think that I am a good friend to my other friends and a good son to my parents. I want to talk all about this in hetr but I'm worrying about I will lose my fandom because I feel like they will say "uh oh, he became a vent user" and leave me. I can't recognize myself anymore. Am I...

Am I going crazy?

Would I even know?

Am I right back where I started four years ago?

If you're reading this... please... tell me who am I.

I... can't... take... it... anymore...