*If it effects them or involves them.

Obviously, you wouldn't tell a random guy you just met that you cheated on your girlfriend- you'd tell your girlfriend., and then if people asked what happened? Tell them. Like, if they're close to you, they're either gonna get it from you, or they're gonna get it from your girlfriend. But, if you say it?

Your friends would, and frankly SHOULD, be disappointed in you, but at LEAST you get the small part of 'You were honest about your mistake'.

ALSO ALSO, there is a huge difference between a mistake and something you've done it over and over. A mistake is an 'oh shit, I got drunk and slept with someone' (Which you should still be held accountable for if you're in a relationship) not 'oopsie daisy I slept with 10 people over the timespan of 2 weeks'.

A mistake, in my eyes, is a one off, in that type of case. Same with like abusers who say 'It was a mistake'- no, it wasn't. It was a HORRIBLE, malicious decision, and in my eyes, you HAVE to apologise for that if you want to even THINK about forgiveness.

This is turning into a rant, but I've mentioned it before; I've had an abusive dad for all my life (doesn't live w/ us, just through visitation at his house) and even now, when we were starting to be.. okay terms, he hasn't apologised. He told me to get over it last time, and obvi he's lost his chance to say sorry, given I've stopped all visitation with him, at least for 6 months.

This is just me providing an example from my personal life, in many cases it IS different. But, in alot of cases, you very well might be able to at least BE in that loved one's life if you apologise. Anyway, getting really off track, but I think that it's really important that people under stand that

A), admitting to doing something before you get caught is better than them finding out on their own

B), Mistakes aren't repeated over and over; at that point.

C), Not apologising and just trying to 'forget' about being abusive, or horrible, or terrible in your past will not fix the relationships you ruined; hell, even I'm guilty of some pretty bad shit.

But, I actually, y'know, managed to be a moderate person and apologise. I'm not friends with the person I did what I did to- which was me being emotionally manipulative and homophobic (Mainly because it was 'edgy' in my eyes- funny how that turned out, given I am VERY gay), obviously I've stopped- have for a long time, I was a horrible 10 year old; and I genuinely believe I'd still be like that if I didn't get therapy & the consequences of losing my friends at the time.

Anyway, rant over; just apologise and admit when you fucked up, it helps in most cases. But, don't say sorry unless you actually fucking mean it, just to add- saying 'sorry' over and over is fucking POINTLESS if you don't stop your actions, cause then, you clearly aren't sorry. Saying 'sorry' forrrr.. let's say, taking a tenner out your mums purse, then doing it again and again, saying sorry each time, is pointless. You ain't sorry, otherwise you'd stop. (It isn't as black and white as this, but I think I made my point)

Idk if I should add communities or not, but putting them anyway. Eject this if you don't think it should be in the ones I've put them in. (For the community owners/mods obviously lol)