When youre thinking of committing it, one of the things that can change your mind is calmness, thats why i always reccommend you to meditate, see a video on youtube about how to do it, or watch some asmr, or listen to some lofi that relaxes you, do what you think gets you further away from the bad thoughts, and when you feel you can think without any voice telling you youre x and y, then try looking at the situation, critically. When you look at life, youre gonna have your perspective, that is, from the bubble you live in, but when youre having the thoughts that make you think about suicide, have you ever taken a look outside your bubble? Because youll see that life isnt just your bubble, life is so much bigger than this. Sure, your thoughts, your family, or any other factor may be bringing you down, but there are people outisde your everyday that love you, TRULY love you. They can be your friends, your family, a teacher, it varies with each person, but the point is that youre not worthless or not loved. I know that getting into religion might not be a good idea, specially to those who dont believe in god, but to those that believe, there is a god, above us, right? He's the first to love us unconditionally, because we are his creation. the second ones (should) be your family, or it your friends, because to be with you its a blessing, to be with you makes them want to continue living, because you make this world brighter, you bring more color to the grayness of the routine. Every step you take in this long road, as small it may seem to be, makes the distance between you and your glory decrease, and its ok if somedays you cant get out of bed. That somedays you barely have energy to get out of bed and repeat tbe cycle, but if you wish to change the routine, with or without energy, you will need to act in some form, that is, get out of bed, and tell someone about your pain. Someone you trust WONT JUDGE you for having this pain, it can be a friend, or a family member, if youre able to, it can even be a therapist, or someone from the suicide hotline, but dont keep your feelings bottled up, because this bottle isnt enough to contain this venom, it'll eat you from the insides out, and when its done it will explode and the glass will shatter to pieces, and theres no warning of when and where it can happen, when your cup can finally overflow, and it can happen in the worst places.