Just so you can have someone to talk about it, because, surprise surprise, not everyone in the internet wishes your best, so dont go telling the whole world youre depressed and stuff, SEARCH ACTUAL HELP, like a therapist, and if you cant afford one or something, again, you can call the hotline to spill your mind out in the phone, and im sure theyll help you, i know its not yellow September yet, but you habe to valorize your life EVERY DAY, dont wait for it to ask help, go out YOURSELF and find help, because if you dont be independent right now, no one will magically read your mind and see what youre going through,we are not wizards, nor we can give you the right medicine to take.

"But i dont valorize my life"

You spent 9 months (or less idk) in your mothers womb, and you were BLESSED to not be born dead, or with some sort of deficiency in your body, cant you see how that builds worth in your life? To be the creation of your fathers/mothers hard work, cause in their life they fought to have this house, this apartment, whatever you live in, they fought to have what you and they have these days, and it wasnt easy, they had to go through their own demons, and to win the fight and to be able to bring to this world a beautiful being like you is what makes all of this hell worth living for, cant you see how this gives your life so much meaning, worth, value?