I feel like I fucked up everything. It’s not even funny. if I didn’t even say anything this shit wouldn’t haven’t happen. I always get told it’s “just feelings” well my FEELINGS has an EFFECT on the person. I’m such a hopeless romantic, everyone keeps telling me “the special person will soon come in my life” and I don’t believe that shit. My 2025 is literal shit rn, the breakup with my ex is still getting to me and it won’t go away. I still feel shitty, I don’t care if he’s “sorry”. He hurt me and there’s nothing he could do to fix that. I really loved him, he done fucked it up. and I hate how I cling onto any affection given by someone I like and overthink about it. I hate it so goddamn much. my stupid feelings have probably caused me a friendship, I’m such a failure in my life man. nothing has went right for me ever since this year started. I hate it so so so much. I’m gonna be lonely for the rest of my fucking life. I hate it. I hate it so much. There’s more I want to put in this article but I rather not. People shouldn’t waste your precious time on me, I’m a horrible person who doesnt deserve to be loved. As much as I want to be. I don’t think I will ever find that “special person” in my life. I always say stupid shit and it ruins things. I hate myself so much. The guilt is eating me alive. Everything that has happened today is my fault. I shouldn’t never said shit. I always do this shit and fuck it up by saying dumb shit. Also, when I act like I dislike my ex friends. I miss them. I know it’s stupid to say but I’m coming clean. It’s so hard to find myself to hate them. I know they wronged me but I can’t fucking bring myself to hate them. They may hate me, everything that has happened is my fault. I lost people that told me they would never leave me. It’s all my fault.