To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: can i vent rq ? i just needa get this off my chest

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: yes

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: after my dad and sister found out about the whole trans shit and polyamorous crap- i've attempted.. 2 times now ? its been pretty snowy here in erie, so i took that as an advantage.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i never told you or tim

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: just so there were no concerns about my health

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: or mentality for that matter.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: it sounds so.. cringy.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: specially with me being a minor.

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: I've been where you have tbh

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: just. less with family more with toxic relationships

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: this shit just sucks. my family is unsupportive, my moms dying, my grandmas dying slowly, my health is declining,

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: hell, i've been throwing up more than even eating food itself.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i cant even finish a meal without instantly throwing it up all because i trained my body to do so.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i'm too insecure to go outside, and the times i do ? i'm just miserable.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i look like a pig.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i struggle with social interaction constantly

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: so i resort to online.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: where people can relate or even befriend me

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: but it just hurts me more.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i saw three of my friends kill themselves all because of drama,

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: harassment,

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: etc, etc.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: doesn't help that i might be in the same zone too.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i sat in the snow for a good three hours

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: only hoodie and jeans

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: and to add the cherry on top,

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i'm afraid of losing tim.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i dont want him to hate me or think i'm a fucking weirdo

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: enough people think that already

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: you are a weirdo. but a goodone

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: lol

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: everyone is a little weird kasper

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i just dont want him thinking i'm obsessive. i stay up for all of my friends

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i once slept in vr with a friend who was sick

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: all because they needed that comfort.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i wanted to do the same for tim

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: since i'm used to it at this point.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: but it resorted in me sounding bitchy or "PlEaSE i"M sOrRRrY"

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i dont try to sound obsessive or overprotective. but if anyone i love or care for is struggling,

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i will do WHATEVER

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: and i mean whatever

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: it takes to make sure they're okay

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: even if that means i have to stay up all night just to know they're okay.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i probably wont even sleep after i get off

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i'm just not tired.

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: just try your hardest

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i do

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i swear i do

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i honestly try my hardest to atleast sleep a bit, but its only about 20 minutes

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: stress overwhelms me,

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: even in sleep

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: so it wakes me up and panics me

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: so then i have to take my pills and try allllll over again.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: its.. pathetic, really. i do this daily, and no wonder my mentality and health is so bad.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i mean, who would wanna date a fucking mental bitch. i wouldnt wanna date myself

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: I would.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: no comment. ( not tryna be rude )

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: I know

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: I'm just honest like you.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: another thing too is just- struggling in general. i can even get out of bed when i do get the sleep i need

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: all because my body is just

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: idk.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: i feel weak most mornings bc i either cry at night or i end up staying up

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: either it be schoolwork, friends, family,

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: or just staying up bc of stress.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: again, its pathetic- and i would NOT recommend my lifestyle lmao.

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: its trashy asff

To [Vevi (Bar owner)]: other than that, thats about all i have to say.

[Vevi (Bar owner)] whispers: I've lived it.