i'm gay !! :3c

yeah yeah big surprise i know ,,

i've been messing around a lot with gai and silli stuff but now its for real

it's been years since i've felt any attraction towards any women

my last time even thinking about a girl was on second grade or smth ..

but now getting a little bit more serious

i've talked about before, back when i was aroace

that i had a fear (pun not intended.) of being myself ever since i got into some trouble with relationships

so i hid myself behind the aroace wall, and acted like i was comfortable with being that

which i never was ,,

so then i decided to come out !!

as ...... pan ,,,

yeah i never really built the confidence to do it

i never opened myself for real

i was too scared of getting judged (since my dad irl HATED me for being just a little bit feminine)

so i lied to you all

and i'm sorry for that

but those things aside,

i think im finally ready to be what i'm comfortable with being

i think that i feel safe around you guys to open myself

so here am i.

i know it sounds like im making a bigger deal out of this than it seems

but my stuff with my dad, and my past relationships left me kinda scared of ever being myself again

its hard to explain

its not much for you, but for me its a huge weight in my heart

im scared of not being accepted

or being hated for lying to you guys

or well ,, being annoying for coming out again

but i'm trying my best to lose my fears

and i believe this is the first step ,,