Well this is my first time talking with you guys for real, well i am Saul, also known as Aridan, i have Autism, TDHD, Schizophrenia and other neurologic problems still to be names, i am going through a new neurologic treatment via a medicine called Lurasidone, i have been taking these meds for about a month now and i feel horrible, i am going through a periode of oscillation, basically, the days are always or a very good day or a very bad day, my hapiness receptors or whatever they are called are going through a phase of recalibration so they are filling my mind artificially with insatisfaction, sadness and discouragement.

Its kinda akward to only be talking with yall now, specially about this, i usually dont like sharing my problema on the internet because i feel bad on bothering people with such things, i have always been very alone through my life because of all my head problems, so i dont like to make people feel bad because i lost a lot of friends because of it before, so its a trauma i have, but, this is just beeing to much to bare for me, i am hearing voices and musics every time i try to sleep, i think i might go insane every second now, o just wanted to ask for you all to not bother yourselfs with it, i just wanted to spill it out but please, dont Go crazy about it.

I have always been excluded so far i study in Embraer in Botucatu, Brazil, so far i didn't had much acceptance, i was ignored the whole previous year, i tried to help in a lot of stuff but nome of my class mates wanted help of someone like me, also, i dont have anyone to be here with me most of the time, my brothers work all day and when i go to school i dont want to tell my friends about such problems, my father works all day and my mom is always going after my grandmother and helping her, and romantically i never had someone to be at my side, not yet, i always wondered what is like to have someone to have as more than a friend, valentines day brought this thought to my mind once more, that type of though also have driven a lot of people away from me before as well.

Sorry to say all of this to you all, none of you deserved to read this, but i really needed to say this to someone, i think i wont be here in game jolt for a while now.

Btw sorry if a lot of what i wrote is not that readable, again, i am brazillian and dont speak english 100%