My Brother Played Bioshock Infinite

Hey, I didn't find myself very absorbed in this one so I'm not gonna leave a rating, but I just wanted to congratulate you on the way you've handled the feedback here. People aren't going to stop telling you that your games aren't games, even if you add game-y elements, and I say it doesn't really matter. If it's enjoyable, it's enjoyable, and there are things that games-that-aren't-games can do much better than "real" games. Admittedly, this could still use work, but if you're ever going to add choices to one of your games, don't just do it because you're "supposed to", do it for a reason, or otherwise they may as well not be there. Keep at it and hopefully one day people will learn to not mark down games for not being "games"!

Good first Twine. We need more Twine games on this site. And it is as much a game as something like Passage or Dear is.

Its not a game if you don't add multiple choices, essentially you could have had a long document with the same outcome.

really pointless. If you want to call it a story game then you should add multiple choices with multiple outcomes...

Below average... It's a story and not a game. Stories should be one part of the game and not the whole thing.

But it can be turned into a game.

1. Add some royalty free ambient music.

2. Add choices.. don't make it soo linear.

3. Add multiple endings.

4. Maybe even add some RPG style stats.

5. Ask your friend who is good with graphics to help you transform this into some kind of visual novel... maybe....