So it’s National Loneliness Day Valentine’s Day today! And rather then going on a hot date with any man, woman or object, I decided I would spend Valentine’s Day turning PersoNO into yaoi fanfiction. So enjoy the purest most romantic relationship ever, Useless and Yosuke. Also, for the sake of this, just pretend Yosuke is bisexual in PersoNO. In fact just pretend every character in PersoNO is bisexual, it will make everything much more convenient.

Useless-senpai and Yosuke-kun’s very deep relationship begins the way any strong relationship does, with Yosuke-kun being cripplingly lonely because nobody besides Useless-senpai is willing to hang out with him. But coincidentally, Useless-senpai is willing to hang out with him! But Yosuke-kun doesn’t have anything planned, so they end up telling skeleton jokes to eachother for a while; the start to any strong relationship!

Time passes, and Yosuke-kun decides to spend more time with Useless-senpai. Which will consist of him introducing Useless-senpai to his new best friend; dog at the park-chan! Yosuke-kun thinks that dog-at-the-park-chan could set a good example for Useless-senpai on how to not be a complete asshole friend!

Useless-senpai learns nothing.

A few days pass, and Yosuke-kun feels safe enough with Useless-senpai to go to Junes and eat food with him! Without fear of him poisoning his food for the most part! Though as they are eating, Yosuke-kun is approached by two females who talk at him about things, they end up coincidentally bringing up issues Yosuke-kun is currently dealing with emotionally.

But Useless-senpai is able to help keep Yosuke-kun calm by not doing anything except tolerating his ramblings and compliment Yosuke-kun.

A week passes, and Useless-senpai decides that the time is right for Yosuke-kun to see the inside of his den! Disgust and one sided love follows.

A few days later, during lunchbreak at school, Useless-senpai invites Yosuke-kun to eat lunch with him. Useless-senpai made very lovely spaghetti! And lovely is Yosuke-kun’s favourite type of spaghetti!

Yosuke-kun is appeased.

Days after the visiting of Useless-senpai’s room, Yosuke-kun takes Useless-senpai down to a music shop so he can flaunt his finical prowess. Yosuke-kun off guardedly mentions “nightcore”, which peaks Useless-senpai’s curiosity and causes him to ask what the “nightcores” are.

But the mentioning of nightcore causes Yosuke-kun to remember issues involving Saki-senpai that he is currently dealing with emotionally. But Useless-senpai is able to help him through his slight emotional trauma by being quiet and saying nothing.

A week later, Useless-senpai and Yosuke-kun are eating at Junes once more, when suddenly a man in a business suit approaches Yosuke-kun and Useless-senpai, and gives Yosuke-kun an offer he can’t refuse; the chance to pose for nightcore album covers in school girl outfits!

Yosuke-kun and Useless-senpai are taken to the studio so Yosuke-kun can get a makeover and get ready for all the photos!

They all go off amazingly!!

After spending a sufficient amount of time recovering from the fact that he has had photos taken of him crossdressing for the sake of nightcore, Yosuke-kun is able to return to human society and go back to eating food with Useless-senpai at Junes. But while they are eating they are approached by the girls who conveniently brought up issues that Yosuke-kun was currently dealing with emotionally. And then they begin conveniently bringing up issues Yosuke is currently dealing with emotionally. They begin bad mouthing Saki-senpai, but luckily Useless-senpai is there to defend Yosuke-kun’s dead senpai’s honor!

Yosuke-kun is saddened but is slightly cheered up by Useless-senpai being mostly silent and tolerating Yosuke-kun’s rambling.

Time passes, and then Yosuke-kun decides to meet up with Useless-senpai at the riverbed. Yosuke-kun is feeling deeply about all the issues he is dealing with emotionally. He proceeds to vocalize him being sad about Saki-senpai’s death among other things at Useless-senpai as he listens and does nothing else. Yosuke-kun slowly begins to accept it as Useless-senpai comforts him by doing nothing except be there.

A few days pass as Yosuke thinks about things. Yosuke-kun then knows what he needs to do; get punched in the mouth by Useless-senpai. But it wouldn’t be very equal of Yosuke-kun to just let Useless-senpai punch him in the mouth, so him and Useless-senpai decide they have to brawl it out equally, so Yosuke-kun gets the chance to kick Useless-senpai alot.

Getting punched alot allowed Yosuke-senpai to realize what he’s been doing wrong this whole time, and he is able to accept everything that has happened and continue moving on! Allowing his persona to grow into it’s second tier, Mega-Kermit!

Useless-senpai and Yosuke-kun sat around before Yosuke-kun head home…

That night, Yosuke-kun realized something about himself… He had become… Tsundere.

The next day, afterschool, Yosuke-kun confronts Useless-senpai with his new found feelings.

Yosuke-kun couldn’t understand it himself, since all he had done up to that point is hate Useless-senpai for obvious reasons, and he still did hate Useless-senpai, but he wanted to platonically date him.
After telling Useless-senpai his true, unfounded feelings, Useless-senpai is pleased on a deep emotional level. Yosuke-kan and Useless-senpai had finally started their platonic guy love!!!

End.

And that was the story of the best ship of all time, Yosuke’s Brocial Link. Though in the actual PersoNO you can choose if you want to start guy love with Yosuke and there are several super secret requirements… But who wouldn’t want to have guy love with Yosuke, am I right?!

So matter who you ship, or whoever your senpai is… or if you have a real boyfriend/girlfriend like some kind of DORK, I hope you have a not-shit National Loneliness Day.

And also if you don’t ship Useless Narukami X Yosuke Hanamara then there’s always an alternative ship -