So....in the last few days, i have been thinking alot from the past few days and it is still going to be honest....

I have felt alot today, and i cannot comprehend to anymore of it, plus i have done alot with my spare time, i just never never felt this sad in my life. Plus i am broken if someone actually see this one...

Why am i telling you this?

Well....

For starters, i am totally fucked up cause i keep making people mad, cause of how depressed i am. Then now i think they're gonna stop caring for me and leave me for dead....too much but words but i am telling the truth.

I never wanted to ask this

I never wanted to make anyone mad

I never want anyone to be sad

Nor people even commenting in posts but that's besides the point...!

I keep thinking that my friends will hate me forever...

Now i know what you are thinking to any friends of mine....

"C00L why are saying this? We already made you feel better you dumbass ! ! ! :D"

And that may be true. But that doesn't it'll go away eventually, if this post is annoying then whoever is annoyed by this post sue/kill me if you want to.

I care for my friends, yes that is true

They care, love and support you, mhm yes that is also true...

But i wanted to know this....

Will they ever hate one day...? It may be stupid or bullshit but i have been thinking alot about this.

I have many things cope like:

-Death

-Depression

-If my friends will ever still be friends with me

That's what it is like.

They'll say "We talked about this!", "Stop feeling like this!", "Feel good!" well what if i don't? What if you want my depression to be gone already? It cannot. It needs progress and process.

......

Im really sorry, i know you love me but my mind thinks im just holding your back. Whenever i keep making you feel better i just think that "It will never work"

My Dark Side:

-You think you can make them feel better?

-Are you even worthy to have them?

-You think they love you?

-You are nothing but a worthless child to them

-They won't save you from anything

-If you wanna care for them, atleast die, they'll be satisfied

-You are vile

-You are a nobody

-You'll keep being hated

-Your holding them back

-Your failing them all

Your letting them all down

-Your disappointing them

-You are pointless

And the list goes on.

People will be mad at me i know. I might make trunk mad for how who knows how many times i keep telling them about my problems cause my darkside said "Trunk thinks your problems are bullshit! :D"

....

I can't feel anything at this point or at this moment

I pledged to anything of i can help.

But all i got was pain and agony.

Plus if some of you are my friends reading this you guys are gonna be mad at me. And i know it. Disappointed,Upset,Angry, Mad are the same thing....

Im very very sorry....

Im really sorry that i can't keep these thoughts....

I am sorry everyone...

I am....so so sorry.,...

Im just....sorry...

Thank you for listening, or not cause who cares about me?

Thank you for listening....

-JD/John/C00L