I somehow felt like i was nothing

I feel empty, lonely, hated, desolated, broken, insane, sad, uncomfortable, sensitive from anything that hurts me....

I have never understood why my life was like this...

I will suddenly lose everything in my path...

Telling me that it's not okay...

Im only like this is because when i was 7 my sadness started to began dark.

Age 7: Dad died

Age 8 - 9: Big brother issues

Age 10 -13: Mom sad, and now....Early Depression

My dark side of my dark mind tells me:

-You are worthless

-You think they love you?

-You are wrong

-You are hated

-You will eventually lose your friends soon

-You will never remember them when your gone

-They will forget you

-They will soon think it's a mistake of you being friends

-All of those helping, supporting, relationships they will all fade away

-You'll be left alone

-You are nothing

-You are not wanted

-You are a jerk

-You cause nothing but trouble

-When your family, friends and other people see you, they ignore you or hate you

-Just kill yourself

-End your life here, you got nothing

-Everyone will hate you, EVERYONE WILL HATE YOU!!!

........

But it's not, it is not true

People love me

People appreciate me

They love for who i am

They care about me

They support me

Knowing deep down...they still love me....but within that deep down inside me...i have friends to fall back on.

Good memories can do alot for me....

If one of you are my friends to see this...?

Thank you...thank you for all your kind and generosity....

I will never forget all of you..

I love you guys....

-C00LM4nisb3st422/John Davidson

<3 Thank you for all your love and support for me....my friends....