Depression in Bittax's Green Hill Zone

Ah yes...DEPRESSION

I need a girl that looks like this (but human) I LOVE BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN

YOU WONT STOP ME NO I WILL NOT CALL 988 YES IM ENDING IT NO YOU WILL NOT STOP ME UNLESS SOMEONE SOMEHOW INSTANTLY MAKES ME FEEL LESS LONELY

I do step 1 but people won't let me do step 2

I have been staring at a knife for like 20 minutes...in fact these like 10 knives in the sink across from me...