To be born without any deficiency or deformaty in the body is a miracle and a blessing, everytime you breathe oxygen is already a achievement, because right now, you could be poor, you could be with some rare desease, illness, some deformaty, yet, you were born the way you are, and you continue living, and to continue living shows your true strenght, cause its not easy, i know.

But dont keep these bad things deep down your throat, like acid, cause once you vomit them out, you dont know who Will hear it, or if when it overflows your cup, itll mean you had enough or not. Tell a friend, or a family member, or anyone else that you trust that wont judge, and if theres no one, you could always call the suicide hotline, and yes, this is urgent, because now its simple negative thoughts bringing you down, but this will scalate and grow to something worse if you dont take action right now.

And i know loves a topic you avoid because you think you dont deserve, but you have every right to have and to be loved, and you already are loved. Cant you see? Love is care, is in the little actions people do for you, the small things they give, the physicall connection, because love isnt simple, its something so imesurable and massive, it can make any ocean overflow because its more than infinite, so when your dad, when your friend or mother tells you to be careful with (x) thing, its because they care about you and therefore love you.

So treat this depression the way it needs to be treated, just like a cancer, because its just as serious. Thousands die from themselves per year, its just as deadly as cancer, so dont waste time, Direct your thoughts to the positive things in your life, instead of thinking all this negative stuff, start thinking about how lucky you are to have food and to not be blind. And i know its nothing simple to do, but really, force yourself to do so, because thinking about death this way wont get you anywhere.

But no, no youre not worthless, people WILL cry in your funeral, people will care, everyone that loves you will be in your funeral crying, because youre the one that makes this world more bearable and colorful to live