PINOLINO ADVENTURE: LEGACY EDITION

pinolino adventure: legacy edition is based off of the old version of pinolino adventure while offering a fans unique spin on it in some areas (well honestly, half), and it aims to recapture that feeling where everything was really low quality for the sake of satire, instead of today where pinolino regarged exists and opts for better quality but while doing so abandons the satire

• NOTE: THIS DOES HAVE SOME DIFFERENCES FROM THE ORIGINAL PINOLINO ADVENTURE, SPECIFICALLY THE JULY 5TH BUILD, WHICH THIS REMAKE IS BASED ON

  #Mod #Pizzatower

oh, and I don't care that pinoslop is so overdone, I'm still making it

(plus, I didn't make absolutely ALL the imagery here, so creds to those original artists)

MEET THE TEAM:

An incredibly bizarre, strange, but ultimately tragic figure, PINOLINO (full name: PINOLINO GARGING JOJSON) is the titular character and main protagonist of PINOLINOS GREAT GRAND ADVENTURE IN THE TOWER: LEGACY EDITION, he was born in the "VALLEY OF THE GREGOGINS", a beautiful natural utopia filled with color and life when he was younger, one of THE CRUM'S HENCHMEN, THE FEF, murdered his parents (father: BOB PINISGOD "PINIS GOD" JOJSON, mother: GREGA MISTRAL JOJSON), everyone in the VALLEY OF THE GREGOGINS, and destroyed the entire place leaving him grieving and alone, in a terrifying new existence, one not so innocent, one lacking any love or company, PINOLINO was terrified...but...guess what...he pushed through, his sheer perseverance, determination, and resilience allowed him to make it to adulthood...he started up a restaurant known as "PINOLINO'S PIZZ", but even after he became perfectly fine on his own...sometimes he still feels sad about his parents, his friends, and his home...however, when the lives of everyone is put at extreme risk because of THE CRUM...PINOLINO takes the challenge to save it all...will our great, grand, glorious hero save the day? or will he too fall to the powers of THE CRUM, THE TOWER, and THE HENCHMEN?

ALFONSO (full name: ALFONSO JORDAN DOLITTLE) is a friend of PINOLINO, he is the first employed worker at PINOLINO'S PIZZ, he is a "fun loving individual" who has married a PIXIE EMPRESS (apparently), and said PIXIE EMPRESS will help you in one of the levels (because ALFONSO asked her to) so yeah, he has an actual life unlike you fuckers reading this, anyway, back on track, he decided to join PINOLINO in his quest to stop THE CRUM and THE TOWER...however, he couldn't help PINOLINO at first cause he was busy...busy with dealing with a citizen of the tower who kept trying to violently attack him, a citizen known simply as FERGUSON, you see, FERGUSON was an old school friend of ALFONSO...their friendship ended when THE CRUM absorbed both ECHO CREEK and MEWNI into THE TOWER, ALFONSO was the SOLE escapee of the incident, so he joined PINOLINO'S PIZZ to get a paycheck to live on his own, "the pay is decent" he says, "so is the work environment", FERGUSON however, struggled to adapt living in the tower, and THE CRUM'S constant brainwashing to all ECHO CREEK and MEWNIAN citizens to destroy all intruders eventually took over, hence why he kept trying to attack ALFONSO, however, after an emotional conversation, FERGUSON snapped back to his senses, FERGUSON (full name: FERGUSON OSCAR O'DURGUSON) is a dude who is always looking out for girls and can speak Spanish, he is the mascot of ECHO CREEK ACADAMY'S AWESOME OPPOSUMS FOOTBALL TEAM, FERGUSON joins ALFONSO and PINOLINO in their great grand adventure to stop THE CRUM, they also definitely did not commit genocide on the MARIO population so they could take MARIO'S place, they are two individuals, BUT FIGHT LIKE ONE.

A tall, stupid, but strong dude, DANT (full name: DANT MARIOUS ADAMIK) is the first of THE CRUM'S HENCHMEN (a group of some of THE TOWER'S strongest warrior's), hailing from POLISH origins in the ŚWIĘTOKRZYSKIE MOUNTAINS, he joined when THE CRUM destroyed his home omniverse, THE CRUM saw a lot of strength and potential in DANT, DANT agreed-but not because he wanted to, it's because if he didn't, THE CRUM would've just straight up KILLED HIM ON THE SPOT, over the many, many, many, MANY years at THE TOWER, he slowly changed his mind due to the constant propaganda overflow, but deep, deep in his soul, he really misses his home family and those he loved.

THE BIG CHUD is the second of THE CRUM'S HENCHMEN (actual name: JEREMY POU GLOPPY) is an AMERICAN born blue slime, he was raised quite violently, being taught around GUNS, as an AMERICAN that kind of treatment is just tradition, he was also taught to absolutely DESPISE LIBERALS for some reason, he was born in NEW ORLEANS, a place heavily filled with gun defenses and people trained with guns, however, it shouldn't take too long for you to guess what happened to NEW ORLEANS, that's right! THE CRUM and his army destroyed NOT JUST NEW ORLEANS, but in typical fashion for THE CRUM...HIS ENTIRE HOME OMNIVERSE (just like DANT), the people of the city fought back as valiantly as they could with their guns...but it was no challenge, THE CRUM'S army was just far too strong, JEREMY tried to fight back, but ultimately joined THE CRUM out of pure fear for his life, THE CRUM saw how insanely skilled he was at gunplay, and he climbed up the ranks until he joined THE CRUM'S HENCHMEN, however, at this point, he wasn't JEREMY POU GLOPPY anymore, THE CRUM renamed him with a much "cooler" name...THE BIG CHUD!!!, the sheer brainwashing has made him lose all his sadness for the past, there isn't even any memory of what his life prior to joining THE CRUM in THE TOWER, its.all.GONE!.

oh, how tragic THE FEF'S (actual name: ROBERTSKY FRANK JUNA) backstory is...he lived such a normal life...such a normal childhood...such a supportive family...such a lovely school...until one certain day...you see...one day ROBERTSKY was at school, when he saw a new kid, a new loner, a new shy boy, a kid named "MEY ORR SHELBOURNE", ROBERTSKY decided to help him and hang out with him...the two developed an incredibly close friendship...until ROBERTSKY learned something about himself...MEY ORR SHELBOURNE awakened something within him just like how ROBERTSKY awakened something within MEY ORR SHELBROUNE, ROBERTSKY discovered he identifies as a gay man, the two shared their first kiss...but the people around their lives were not say happy about their new identifies, they were EXTREMELY homophobic, this made the two very sad, they eloped somewhere...somewhere BAD...you see, ROBERTSKY learned somewhere about THE CRUM, and a VERY special ritual summoning dance (that totally did not involve gay sex I swear), they summoned THE CRUM, and they asked of him to destroy their home town (GOGGITY FALLS) to get back at all the homophobes...THE CRUM did just that...but unknowingly, in asking THE CRUM to do that...they unknowingly sold to him THEIR RIGHTS, they were binded to live in THE TOWER for all of eternity, however, ROBERTSKY'S sheer rage from everything caused him to be a super powerful warrior, even his dreamed marriage with his lovely boyfriend didn't make him any happier, he eventually joined THE CRUM'S HENCHMEN, and his first task was to destroy a little place known as "VALLEY OF THE GREGOGINS", AKA THE VERY HOME PLACE OF YOUNG PINOLINO, at that point, ROBERTSKY FRANK JUNA he was no longer!, now he was...THE FEF! THE FEF later went onto become a massive movie star in THE TOWER, but what about his happily married gay husband, MEY ORR SHELBOURNE, well, we were just about to get to him! so here is...

MAYOR SHELBOURNE (real name as you saw earlier: MEY ORR SHELBOURNE) first moved to the small town of GOGGITY FALLS after his father, HECTOR GRUG SHELBROURNE lost the election in the previous town, he also came with his sister, MISSY GREAGY SHELBOURNE, he didn't like his family, they never supported him, neither did anyone at school, nobody except a boy named ROBERTSKY, who helped him throughout these hard times and eventually became his homosexual awakening, as you already know, he is responsible for the death of his family, as he alongside ROBERTSKY summoned THE CRUM to destroy GOGGITY FALLS, they lose their rights, they get stuck in THE TOWER for eternity, you know that already, HOWEVER, after that, learning from his father, tried to run for mayor in one of the sectors...AND HE WON, he is the mayor of the DUSTY DUNES DESERT OF DOOM DISTRICT, he is very rich alongside his husband, two popular figures in THE TOWER, truly a match made in heaven, pretty weird I gave this much attention to a character who only appears in the game for like 3 seconds huh? (plus, he is also the 2nd cousin of OBESITIE)

lots of weird things revolve around THE RER (real name: nobody knows), the only thing we know about them is that they are a PHANTOM, a manifestation of THE FEF'S mistakes, he was born purely out of the guilt from THE FEF'S mind, he is not a being of consciousness, there is no consciousness inside THE RER (representing how THE FEF was being extremely delusional back when he was making the deal and when he was only ROBERTSKY), he is purely a ghostly manifestation of all the horror and tears THE FEF (and by extension MAYOR SHELBOURNE) caused with their deal of THE CRUM and how extremely strange it was of them to do that (hence his inverted look that is crying), no matter how many times THE FEF or MAYOR SHELBOURNE defeat him in battle, HE WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT THEM.

LITTLE PINO (real name: NOSJOJ GNIGRAG ONILONIP) is very similar to THE RER, in the sense that they are both manifestations of the memories of the past of an individual, in this case, LITTLE PINO is the manifestation of PINOLINO'S trauma, with the destruction of his home, the violent murder of all his loved ones, however, there is a VERY specific reason as to why he looks the way he does and why he is called "LITTLE PINO", you see, before THE FEF'S attack on "VALLEY OF THE GREGOGINS", PINOLINO'S mother was PREGNANT with a little brother...before the baby tragically died in as PINOLINO'S mother died in the attack, LITTLE PINO is quite literally THE EMBODIMENT OF PINOLINO'S BROTHER HE NEVER GOT, why do you THINK he is called "LITTLE PINO"? and why do you think he is portrayed in such bizarre, gory ways? it's to represent the brutal slaughter that took place in VALLEY OF THE GREGOGINS, he looks so much like PINOLINO because that's what PINOLINO in his head always imagined what his little brother would've looked like, unlike THE RER he does actually have a consciousness, he is the owner of a brewery, his favorite drink is ROYAL CROWN COLA, something that PINOLINO is quite literally allergic too, now, moving on...

PILLAR GOG (real name: GOG THE PILLAR 3000) he was once a normal citizen in the "GROGGILILY" supercluster...he is a member of the "PILLARIOUS" species, and quite literally the 2nd last surviving member, cause THE CRUM and his army destroyed it in the destruction of the Y-631223-YTADWADSADW-24143562-FFDS-4453 omniverse, PILLAR GOG is one of 2 survivors, not because he avoided conflict, but because he's so tough he actually TANKED it all, so THE CRUM saw this and realized he could make for great defenses, so he cloned PILLAR GOG and put the clones in each level of THE TOWER for added integrity, the original one is rumored to be at the very top of THE TOWER in a secret room, it's also said this is not his true form, but there MIGHT be a certain wait to get him to return to his original form...now onto the only other survivor and his brother:

GREG (real name: GREGORY THE BRICK 1000) is the only other survivor of the PILLARIOUS genocide and the brother of PILLAR GOG, he and his brother lived a generally happy childhood, until well...you know, however, he surrendered, and begged for mercy...the only way to obtain mercy from THE CRUM? be employed by him, though GREG didn't have the strength of the others, so he's been stuck doing janitor work for a LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG TIME, he's pretty much lost all hope, however...he also has the key to all secret rooms in each level that hold a reward...what if you collect them all...?

MR HANDS (real name: INNAPROPIATE TOUCHER GROSSINGTON) is a guy who works at PINOLINO'S PIZZ as the bookkeeper (no, he doesn't keep books, he actually keeps track of the money, that's what a bookkeeper does), he's quite greedy and demands money from PINOLINO, he will force you to pay money to progress even though an unbelievable number of lives are at risk (what a greedy fuck), he also has a tragic backstory, he was out of money after he evacuated his home dimension (from THE CRUM), the "CASH MONEY" dimension, and was on the streets, until he found an employment flyer for "PINOLINO'S PIZZ" in need of a bookkeeper, and he got it instantly, for the longest time it was just him, PINOLINO, and ALFONSO...plus the other workers but they're not important, until the time called for it and all 3 embarked on the journey into THE TOWER.

AT LONG LAST, WE REACH THE BIG BAD, THE CRUM (real name: lost to time)...

you probably won't know this, but THE CRUM wasn't always such an insane tyrant, in fact, much like his victims, much like the tragic backstories HE caused for THEM, he has his own tragic backstory....he's not so different from them after all...it all started many googolplexians ago...he lived an incredible, rich life...until one fateful night as an infant...his parents...WERE MURDERED, BY AN UNKNOWN PERPETRATOR, it caused him to spiral down a dark, DARK path, he rose to power by becoming the god to many (as shown on the symbol on some special doors you will see in game), he then used that power to get super strong and MURDER UNTOLD AMOUNTS OF VICTIMS, MOST OF WHICH WERE COMPLETELY INNOCENT, he did this in hopes one of them would be the one who killed his parents...we still don't know if he ever actually DID...but all we know, is that it made him discover something about himself...something cruel...he is sadistic...he is ADDICTED to torturing and killing others purely for the kick of their terrified emotions, to this day he has annihilated GOOGOLPLEXIANS UPON GOOGOLPLEXIANS UPON GOOGOLPLEXIANS UPON GOOGOLPLEXIANS (repeat that cycle some googolplexian times) OF OMNIVERSES, which give him the highest kill count in fiction...but what also makes him the most EVIL...is the fact that he stores the corpses of his victims in THE TOWER, and traps their SOULS inside a facility in the tower...WHERE THEY ARE STUCK IN A STATE OF CONSTANT ETERNAL TORMENT AND AGONY THAT ONLY MULTIPLIES BY A GOOGOLPLEXIAN EVERY SUBNANOSECOND, NOT EVEN THE END OF TIME OR EXISTENCE WILL SAVE THEM OR STOP THE CRUM...WHAT THE FUCK

but know...his current plan...its insanely fucked even for him...

his current plan...

IS TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE FUCKING ALLSPHERE, KILLING EVERYONE IN EXISTENCE AND SENDING THEM TO HIS CHAMBER OF ETERNAL TORMENT.

every universe, every multiverse, every megaverse, every hyperverse, every omniverse, every wish, every hope, every dream, every future, every timeline...all vanquished...

everyone's hearts are beating as one...you must STOP THE CRUM

every being who has come to stop THE CRUM in THE TOWER, HAS DIED

not even the end of time or eternity will stop him or free the souls...and yet, there is a very peculiar rumor around THE CRUM...

it is often theorized there is a being who resides inside THE CRUM...one even more evil than he is, it is rumored that this being in question is THE ONE WHO ORIGINALLY KILLED THE CRUM'S PARENTS, making an evil figure in a tragic backstory breed another evil figure who would cause even more tragic backstories...some say THE CRUM originally DID kill him, but in a similar vein to LITTLE PINO and THE RER, he is the manifestation of memories, however its theorized he isn't a manifestation, but a straight up REVIVAL because of how strong THE CRUM'S hatred for him is, no one will really know unless someone bests THE CRUM in battle...