I think I actually tracked down the problem, and if I'm right, it is what caused the cataclysmic failure of my last iteration as well 
One of the biggest pains in any game (I think) is maps and spawning, making sure that maps load and that the players spawn where they're supposed to. For the longest time, I was doing everything manually. And it was a pain. Then I had a minor epiphany. I would use an Area3D and code an export var for a PackedScene which would be the appropriate map, and Vector3() coordinates for the spawning. Then I could effectively mass-produce teleport spots 
I think it ended up being a bit like crossing wires, and it explains why I was getting errors in the editor itself. It was trying to load these scenes as export vars before they had loaded in the editor. But when I replaced the PackedScene with a simple string, the path to the scene instead, boom, no more problems 
Kind of a bummer that I rage-trashed the last iteration (not all of it, but 95% of it), but the art for this one is still waaaay easier and the animation is proving to be easier as well. Also the story is better 
Am I going to alert the Godot devs of this mishap? Is it really a bug or just user error? The answer to the second question is, I don't know. I have a suspicion it's user error, that I misunderstood some aspect of PackedScenes. But the answer to the first question is definitely no, because the Godot devs and I really don't get along 
WE'RE CHARGING AHEAD!!! 
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