My first work of the year was done in the context of doodles. i had nothing to do, i wanted to have some fun and draw. i ended up redesigning almost all the plants from pvz 1 in this style.
I can't say anything about this work except that it was fun to draw it. it's a doodle and I can't rate it.

The second work was also on pvz and was made as a background for a fan game for pvz for my friend.
Looking at this work now, I realize that I overdid the last stages and it could have been better overall.

the next art was made and finished on january 25th
I wanted to do a reimagining of hello neighbor main menu and actually this is the work. i like it in general, it's the first time i tried using ue4 for rendering.

After that I decided not to stop and made a realistic room from hello neighbor. in general, I then planned to make a whole house, but the ambition was too great to my knowledge and strength, so I decided to make only 1 room.

I will evaluate the work from experience as follows - it gave me a lot of experience, it was quite fun and I was able to try my hand at full realism.

during this work I was invited to work on 1 vr game on fnafu. unfortunately my work in this project will not be if the game will be released, all rolled into a drama in which the blame and the reaction to my decision, as well as I myself who made the decision to leave and as a large number of mental problems and ghosts on which no one cares, but still bother me. As for the work, I learned something new for me again. I optimized it all a lot, cut down the textures as much as possible, did a lot of overlaps. did a lot of technical work and optimization for these assets.

This piece was originally planned as a remake of a stylized chica, but something went wrong and I got carried away..... I literally did this job in three days.

After that i got a lot of stars and a drama happened. old ghosts and my old decisions basically "canceled me". in fact i am now in the fnaf community for some people an undesirable person with a bad reputation. i say this because it bothers me, but after a while everything was resolved. We talked about everything and with the person who said something about me to the admin, as a result, we are now on good terms. we solved everything. but after the incident I was on the verge of suicide, because my mental state was just terrible and killed. decisions that I made and led to this “cancellation” were also a consequence of instability. and very, very heavy.

This actually influenced to some extent my decision to quit the fnaf vr project after a month.

I'm not blaming anyone, it's just a fact.

If you evaluate the work, I like it. now I would change a lot of things, but in general it is very fast and most importantly quality work done.

I also made my character before that. I had 0 experience in it and that's why the character came out very poor quality. I have very contradictory feelings about it.

He's unfinished, he was supposed to have clothes. but since the base came out bad, I just gave up on this model.

also bad apples. it was an original game, its concept and idea i redesigned 3 times. i made this game with my boyfriend. unfortunately we broke up and after that i didn't have the strength, desire and everything else to do this project. i can only say that this project gave me the ability to do something new. maybe i will someday realize the design documents that were made during the development, and maybe i will post it. i will leave it not for the big public.

I completely forgot about this job. i wanted to do something weird and unexpected. hn + helluva boss collab. i don't know why, but i wanted to. i didn't finish it because the stolas didn't come out as good as i would have liked.

LNS. I was already working on this project and decided to come back to it because I wanted to make games and I wanted to close the void and find a new meaning to life.

This project gave me hope that I wasn't cursed and games with my involvement could be released. and so it was also design work/full gamdev/and a lot of work.

Guest. made it a full retexture, I just wanted to make it and that's why I made it.

I still like it. By the way, I posted it, so you can download it and use it

meme guest vector. like... meme guest vector... I made it at the request of a friend.

Mod. this is already a very large independent project based on hello neighbor modkit. I canceled it because I broke everything, I somehow exceeded the possibilities of the limits that the developers indicated. this project gave me VERY AND VERY much experience. in terms of programming, in terms of creating materiails, in terms of vegetation, as well as in attempts to improve game design. also many of the developments from here I now use in other projects, such as for example liquid in bottles.

First iteration of the slenderman game. originally this game was about a hotel, but a bunch of problems irl forced me to stop making it.

Then with the lns command we did an update before helloween

1 kinda secret project, i will give an announcement of it, i will not show almost anything, but now we are in search of a style. and kinda found it already. i will show a small teaser of art that is already coming out.

and I'll show you what I've already shown you.

My art for hn and also fan art for hn 3, which I canceled because I didn't want to do slender man survival game. ( there were rofl arty, as well as more serious. actually and so I also tried to get into the development, but unfortunately at the moment I do not get anything because at this stage they do not need props artist

and basically my latest work on the game I'm making right now and making it openly. about slenderman. There's gonna be repeats.

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To summarize the year in terms of creativity. i achieved a lot and did a lot. a lot of things that you saw here got canceled, were unfinished. this is the fault of my adhd and also autism and a lot of psychological problems like depression.
I made 500 gigabytes worth of assets in a year if we're talking soures file weight. and +1000 assets. gooood

Also if you summarize from 2023 to 2024, basically in 2023 I had everything, and at the end of 2024 I had no one closer to me. simply because of depression. but what I've managed to do again this year is lose everything again and try to get it back. it doesn't happen consciously.

lots of conflicts, lots of failures, lots of heavy accusations, heavy carrying them through, which in the end the turned out to be just a joke of life deciding to do something randomly. and it's so horrible when it's not just anyone against you, it's literal randomness....

My plans for 2025 are to cure my problems. i will go to a psychologist, i will also go to a psychiatrist after the new year to have all my problems diagnosed, give me maybe antidepressants and stuff like that.
I want to fix a lot of things about myself once I'm cured.
find a job, move out of my parents who basically destroyed me, solve all conflicts no matter what they were, resume communication with friends and a lot of things i can't solve now because of depression. make the first build of the slender game.

I'm sick at the moment of communication, I just want to leave and never talk to anyone.... but the dumbest part is that it makes me feel bad. It's a paradox I want to get out of.

so I'm lonely now, but hopefully in the new year I'll get over it. I want to spend more time on my personal life than on my art.

In a year from full 0 I was able to almost regain the number of subscribers that I lost at the end of 2023 when I deleted my first account and again due to mental instability. now in the moment I find it even funny....

and also i am glad that this year i was able to inspire again many people who wrote out words of encouragement to me, shared their work, got to know my opinion. thank you, you help me feel better.

And I also give advice, treat your head. if you have problems, they need to be treated. when I am stable and do not cut all the bridges with their stupid decisions, I have friends like me, there is respect, joy in life.

If something goes wrong, it all falls apart. You're one or two steps away from death.