Can somebody please translate this into English?

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SONIC!

keep on shining!🎂🎉✨

#SonicTheHedgehog #Sonic35th

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

Happy 35th birthday to the GOAT!! 🦔💙

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

uh , happy birthday of 35th sonic!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺

simple drawing yeah i know —

Little quickie I did.