Can somebody please translate this into English?

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Got art block so I highkey drew Zguesto fish from OMN...

Remastered Minecraft skin.

I love french magicians, gotta be one of my favorite genders

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I was bored because I got home from school earlier since one of my teachers was sick

I, am also real sick rn-

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

[Insert awesome sauce title]

@MasaRioMikoCaburnay OC gift

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"