Can somebody please translate this into English?

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

Little quickie I did.

@The_queen_of_plushys gacha edit!

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

@ruth_lolA's gacha edit

First time editing on a chromebook

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

@SheepLover1112 gacha edit request

Remastered Minecraft skin.