Can somebody please translate this into English?

Remastered Minecraft skin.

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

Made this in an AI meme generator accidentally. No keywords, nothing.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Little quickie I did.