Can somebody please translate this into English?

Remastered Minecraft skin.

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

hop in

Install Now

welcome

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

Little quickie I did.

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.