Can somebody please translate this into English?

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.

"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

Mr Crowbar Man

Little quickie I did.

Drew Gordon Freeman! :D

Remastered Minecraft skin.

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

I look up LEGO Batman, and what do I see?

THIS.

MASTAHPEECE.