1 year ago

This post's more of a vent rather than a seemingly goofy sketch. I'm questioning my existence in power here. This account wasn't even intended to gain this amount of followers... in very fast pace. Yet, somehow, this happened.

Read article for full vent.


When I came into this site in particular, this was supposed to be a comfort account. Then just 2 months later, I've been just THIS recognized. Yet at the same time, it just feels off, because I know where I came from, scratch. Reflecting on both websites, it just gives me deja vu to think why am I that famous or rather getting recognized now, and at least why that is.

Reflections


Scratch portion

On scratch I try to give vectors and at least try to be there for them and help them out in a friendly manner at that time I wasn't even heavily that famous. It just so happens to be that the moment that situation happens, I got more recognized than conceived at that time. I've reflected on some of my past as well, not just from the situation, but what I can improve on really. But hasn't my influence really been because of one thing really, because I'm getting the feeling that I've mainly influenced alot of people, not by just the situation but just because I was at least, for a matter of fact, there? Like don't get me wrong, it's at least a good reason it probably is why I got famous, from the Golden rule itself.

However, I also got a feeling that it isn't that, and that it's also because alot of people wanted me to vector something out of my hand. Just by being pressured from that reason is terrifying enough, it's peer pressure. I mean no one is asking me to vector but sure, it just that I have more better things to do than that. Either way, I've realized that vector giving can get taken advantage of the hard way, so I'm aware about that.

So it's either that the fact I make art at least random things I'm interested, that situation or that.

Gamejolt portion

It's the same thing with at least, Gamejolt, but idk if that counts. I post almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's definitely not the same thing as making an art out of something. Sheesh. Idk, this is more social media based than anything really ;_; but my god, from just getting started on several different locations, I'm getting weirdly more recognized than ever. It's weird how much this has SPREADED to me getting more recognized. Like just imagine how that feels like. Breathtaking but extraordinary.


Why it scares me

I'm scared, not only that, I have no power in scratch so yeah. I'm not saying that improving without me is good, it's just that I can't control people's actions. I'm getting to recognized to the point where everyone knows about me and man idk, I'm quite scared that someone will just try to harass me like literally ._. Idk I feel weird that, I just... suddenly grown from that level itself. Fitting in is just awkward for me, I have too many ideas in gamejolt that I'm worrying about posting too much. Listen, I love drawing, but I don't want to post to much than needed. Whatever, Time will tell now. I hope I don't lose myself now.



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