"Don't blame me, peg the kid with the keyboard!"

Can somebody please translate this into English?

I'LL HAVE SOMEONE'S ASS FOR DINNER!!!!

@The_queen_of_plushys gacha edit!

Install Now

@ruth_lolA's gacha edit

First time editing on a chromebook

Hi there, care to sign my petition?

Reject UwUdozer, return to Dogezer.

@SheepLover1112 gacha edit request

My dad sent this to me yesterday. It is now my phone wallpaper.